


Show Me the Maze of Your Heart

by Audrey_Lynne



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Amethyst has issues, Angst, Angsty Schmoop, Anxiety, Backstory, F/F, Forced Fusion, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Fusion, Homeworld Hierarchy, Hurt/Comfort, Late Night Conversations, Peridot is Almost Nice, Peridot is a Nerd, Pink Diamond Theory, Polyamorous Rose, Psychological Trauma, Psychological Warfare, Revelations, Rose's Barbie Car, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow Burn, So Does Pearl, Spoilers for Back to the Barn, Spoilers for Too Far, We Kept Amethyst, bath bombs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-04-26 16:57:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5012578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Audrey_Lynne/pseuds/Audrey_Lynne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amethyst is struggling with her sense of worth even more than usual after the events of "Too Far."  When the Gems accidentally activate a weapon they've never encountered before, Amethyst is injured in a way none of them understand.  Lost in her mind, there may only be one way to get her back...but Pearl's not sure about this at all.  Unfortunately, she's the only one who can do it.</p><p>Featuring loads of schmoopy Gem friendship, backstory, and Peridot continuing to be a total nerd.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sticks and Stones Would be Preferable, Actually

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so...how 'bout those last couple episodes? Wow. I couldn't wait to write this once the idea came to me; the next chapter will be coming as soon as I can get it out. Please forgive any typos; it's been edited but they still have a way of slipping through; I'll correct them as I catch them. Spoilers for "Back to the Barn," and "Too Far," especially regarding the character development in those two episodes.

 

* * *

 

 

Amethyst was in a mood; that much was obvious. She had been since her return to the Kindergarten with Peridot. Pearl knew exactly what had happened, as Steven had been quick to fill the other Gems in. There had been an actual apology and a truce declared, but Amethyst was clearly still stinging from what she'd learned. Pearl could sympathize. She, unfortunately, had known what she was meant for from the first moment she gained awareness. Homeworld, as much as she longed for it at times, was not generally a kind place to pearls. She'd been lucky, because she had Rose. Humans had a saying, that someone was romanticizing things by looking at them in a “rose-colored” fashion. Maybe that was what influenced her own memories, made her want to return. Her memories were Rose-colored.

 

Amethyst's situation was even more complicated. She'd never met any other amethysts. She had accepted, readily, Rose's assertion that she was exactly as she was supposed to be. And now she was finding out that, no, she really wasn't. She had been destined to be a tall, broad-shouldered warrior - even more imposing than Jasper, as jaspers tended to be a bit smaller and less meaty than amethysts. Jasper had called her an “overcooked runt,” and that was pretty much how most Homeworld gems would see her. But Pearl liked the Amethyst they had. She was occasionally infuriating, but funny, loving, and utterly unique. A marked improvement over the bloodthirsty warriors Pearl had fought off at Rose's side. She'd told Amethyst this, but Pearl knew all too well it was one thing to hear something and another to believe it.

 

It was clear that Garnet sensed Amethyst's unrest as well. Her fight with Homeworld had been to exist at all, so she had a different perspective. Rubies weren't exactly highly ranked Gem warriors. Sapphires, with their psychic prowess, were sought-after strategists. Their relationship was frowned upon in the first place, just because it crossed ranks and social boundaries. Then, for them to not only fuse outside of battle but choose to stay that way...well, Rose had been the only one to accept Garnet, really. Even Pearl had to admit she'd been a little leery of Garnet at first, until she'd gotten to know her. The same with Amethyst, really. After the war, it was easy to think any amethyst they encountered would be trouble, and Pearl wasn't so sure the tiny ankle-biting one she and Rose found on a sweep of the Kindergarten would be any exception. Pearl had never been more happy to be proven wrong, in both cases.

 

Stopping the cluster was their biggest priority at the moment, but that didn't stop other issues from cropping up and needing to be dealt with. The Crystal Gems still didn't trust Peridot enough to take her on missions yet, so they had given Steven her leash – literally – and warped to an old Gem battlefield to track down a couple of the fusion experiments that had escaped. Bigger ones, Peridot had warned them. Pearl sighed internally. She hated these things. They reminded her of everything she had once thought of fusion to be, but they were only a mockery of the process. It had to be harder on Garnet. She'd processed most of her initial rage and horror, but Pearl could tell, dealing with these abominations and knowing that was exactly what Homeworld gems thought of her was heartbreaking. Even more so, considering those shards had come from fallen warriors. It wasn't only a sick means of exploiting and forcing what could be one of the most intimate experiences a Gem could have, but also completely disrespectful to the dead. Of course, as a rule, Homeworld gems weren't a sentimental lot. That sort of thing wouldn't have bothered them for a moment.

 

“Amethyst, are you okay?” Pearl asked quietly, falling into step with Amethyst as they continued to search the battlefield.

 

“Just peachy,” Amethyst muttered darkly. “Let's just find these stupid things so we can go home and try to figure out how to keep the even _worse_ one from wrecking the entire planet.”

 

Normally, Pearl would have pushed her to talk more, to deal with the fact that she clearly wasn't fine, but there were better times and places for that conversation. “I know you two made up, but for the record, punching Peridot in the face is remarkably healing.”

 

Amethyst didn't laugh the way Pearl had hoped she would, but it did coax a tiny smirk from her before her face fell again. “Yeah, but she deserved it, talking about you the way she did.”

 

“And you,” Pearl pointed out.

 

Amethyst shrugged. “Yeah, but with me, it's true. You turned out better than you were supposed to be. Me, I'm just--”

 

Garnet cut her off before she could finish that thought. “You're just what we need.”

 

“Thanks, but you probably should have crushed me like the other runts.” Amethyst sighed. For her to open up like this, she must have been feeling even worse than she looked. “Might have been doing yourselves a favor. Who knows what other defects I've got?”

 

Pearl gasped. It was true; Homeworld policy was typically to crush runts upon their discovery. Pearl had rationalized it before as being more humane than the life they'd face; surviving runts had even less opportunity and social standing than pearls and that was saying something. But that was before the Crystal Gems – and before Amethyst. “Did Peridot tell you about that?”

 

“She wasn't being rude. For once.” Amethyst stared at the ground, even as she continued to walk. “She just wanted to know how I survived. Or why. I don't know. Whatever. Not like it matters.”

 

“It does matter!” Pearl insisted. She hurried a few steps ahead of Amethyst, then stopped, blocking her path. “Amethyst, listen to me. Rose went back to see how badly the Kindergarten had deteriorated and we came back with you! All those years there, by yourself, and you trusted her enough to let her pick you up and take you home!”

 

Amethyst looked up, confusion crossing her face. “Kinda says more about her than me, doesn't it?”

 

“No, Pearl's got a point,” Garnet said. “You still had your instincts. You could have just attacked her.”

 

Amethyst made a face. “Wouldn't have gotten me very far. She was a lot bigger than me. You know, the size of an  _actual_ quartz?”

 

“Rose was a diamond,” Pearl said. The words were out of her mouth before she could stop herself, before she could debate the wisdom of revealing more of the unsavory past those of them who had fled Homeworld wanted to leave behind. But if it would help Amethyst, it would be worth it.

 

“What?!” Amethyst's eyes widened, her mouth hanging open. “What, like a _Diamond-_ diamond _, supreme ruler_ type?”

 

“Yes. Most younger Gems just assume she was a quartz because of her name.” Pearl glanced to Garnet, fearful of the anger she might find in her expression, but saw only wary understanding. Garnet nodded, subtly, and Pearl steeled herself to continue. “You've probably heard Peridot mention Yellow Diamond, her former leader. She and Rose were friends, once, thousands of years ago, before the rebellion. I...was actually a gift, from Yellow Diamond to Rose.” She didn't miss Amethyst's sympathy wince, but she couldn't think about it too long if she wanted to finish the story. “Rose was known back then as Pink Diamond. She renamed herself when she turned because she didn't want to be thought of as better than the rest of her army. As Rose Quartz, she could be a warrior, a leader, but...equal to her people. I didn't understand it at first, but she showed me the light. And then the war came and, well, it became clear we were on the right side.”

 

Amethyst's mouth still gaped open, but Pearl didn't blame her; it was a lot to process. “How come you never told me this before?”

 

“The same reason I don't like to talk about anything before we settled on Earth,” Pearl explained. Under other circumstances, the question would have made her defensive, but she bit back her temper because Amethyst needed to understand. “Rose wasn't exactly proud of her past. I can't say I'm proud of mine. We...a lot of awful things happened, and our lives here have been an attempt to move beyond it.”

 

Amethyst nodded, slowly. “I get that.”

 

“I know you feel bad because of everything the Kindergarten was and has been turned into.” Pearl reached out to put a hand on Amethyst's shoulder. “But that's the difference between us, and this is something I should have told you a long time ago. You had no control over how you were made. The things we did before the rebellion, those were our _choices._ ”

 

Amethyst's expression softened. “Pearl, I--” She broke off as Garnet gasped suddenly, a moment before everything exploded into action. Gem monsters, alas, had no concept of when time was needed for a heart-to-heart conversation.

 

Pearl drew her spear instantly, swinging it at the nearest of the creatures. As she pirouetted out of the way of another, she couldn't help but think of her days training with Rose, realizing that the dance skills she'd so carefully honed could be used to fight as well as entertain. She couldn't let reminiscing get the better of her, though, something she was sharply reminded of as another of the monsters crept up on her from behind. Garnet jumped to her rescue, and Pearl recovered quickly, focusing to slay another. That seemed to be the last of them, for the moment. Garnet bubbled the remains, sending them back to the temple, and Pearl looked around, checking to make sure everyone was okay. They appeared to be, though Amethyst was crouched close to the ground, examining some sort of box at her feet. “Amethyst, what's that?”

 

“I don't know.” Amethyst picked it up. “You're the super-nerd; you tell me.”

 

Pearl stepped closer, examining it. The box was small, hinged almost like a music box would be, with a logo of some sort set in the lid. “Looks like an emerald,” she murmured, tracing the logo with her finger. “Where did you find this?”

 

“In the bushes over there.” Amethyst nodded her head in that direction. “I landed on it when one of those creepsters tossed me.” Pearl, all too familiar with Amethyst's knack for falling on things at the worst possible angle, tugged Amethyst's tunic out of the way out of habit to check her gem, which was thankfully intact. Amethyst snorted. “Aw, geez. I landed on it with my _butt_.”

 

“Well, can you blame me for worrying?” Pearl took the box from Amethyst, looking at it more closely. “I have no idea what this is. Either it was introduced after the war or it's something we simply never encountered.”

 

“Should we open it and find out?” Amethyst asked, and Pearl honestly couldn't tell if she was joking.

 

“I'm going to vote no,” Garnet said, coming up behind them.

 

Amethyst chuckled. “Always trust the one with future vision.” Her periods of cheerfulness came and went lately, but Pearl was glad to see she appeared to be having one now. “You see forward to what this is or do we take it home to the other nerd and let her play with it and give it some weird name?”

 

“It's not clear,” Garnet said. “I see it in a bubble.”

 

“Ends up in a bubble - nothing but trouble.” Amethyst giggled. “So leave it here?”

 

“It might still be useful to have Peridot analyze it,” Pearl suggested. “We've bubbled a lot of technology that _wasn't_ trying to kill us, too.”

 

“True,” Garnet agreed. “But the first sign of problems, I'm smashing it.”

 

Pearl nodded. “Agreed.” Emeralds were known on Homeworld for being top-notch weapon designers, and if it  _was_ a weapon they didn't understand, that could end badly.

 

“And if Peridot is in the way?” Amethyst joked.

 

Garnet shrugged. “That would be unfortunate. For her.”

 

* * *

 

 

They were nearly back to the warp pad when Amethyst tripped on a vine. The box in her hands went flying, and Pearl lunged forward to catch it. She was nearly in time, but not quite, and the box crashed to the ground only a few inches from her outstretched arms. The latch on the front fell open and the box came to life, emitting a green glow. Pearl flew backwards by several feet as Garnet grabbed her, pulling her away. The light focused quickly into a beam, and it shot out from the box. Pearl watched in mute horror as the beam struck Amethyst a second before Garnet was able to shove her aside. Amethyst dropped to the ground as Garnet shoved her, but she didn't move or protest like usual. Pearl ran to her, finally finding her voice again while Garnet wasted no time in smashing the box and bubbling it as promised. “Amethyst!”

 

Garnet arrived at Pearl's side seconds later. “Is she all right?”

 

Pearl turned Amethyst over, frowning. Amethyst was unconscious, but her gem was still completely intact. “Her gem looks fine, but she won't wake up.” She was beginning to worry they'd destroyed the box prematurely, but perhaps it had been better to do so than risk it powering up again and unleashing a second attack. “Garnet, why won't she wake up?”

 

“I don't know.” Garnet frowned, picking Amethyst up and gently settling her on her shoulder, similar to the way Rose had when Amethyst was younger and wanted to be carried. She'd never been an actual gemling – breeding had long since been phased out as a regular means of gem production, even before Pearl's time. But runts often lagged behind their peers developmentally, and Amethyst had been very young when they found her. She'd grown and matured so much and now Pearl was terrified they might lose her. “Let's get her back to the temple. We can't do anything for her here.”

 

“Should we try Rose's fountain?” Pearl asked. It was the only thing she could think of that might help. She'd been maintaining it meticulously, both as a form of therapy and in case they needed it again.

 

Garnet considered it for a second. “Couldn't hurt.” Whether the uncertain look on her face was related to worry, future vision, or both, Pearl couldn't tell and she wasn't sure she wanted to know. “Let's go.”

 

* * *

 

 

Rose's fountain had not proven helpful. That was a first, and one Pearl didn't like. They'd stayed for longer than usual, knowing deeper wounds could require more time, but Amethyst hadn't stirred. She hadn't even retreated to her gem to regenerate. She just remained limp in Garnet's arms until it was clear to both Pearl and Garnet this wasn't the answer they were hoping for. Garnet's expression was hard to read, as usual, but it was clear she was upset. Rose's tears could fix many physical wounds, but they couldn't heal the heart.

 

“We should take her home,” Pearl said, reaching for Amethyst. Somehow she felt the need to carry her this time, protect her as she once had.

 

Garnet put a gentle hand on her shoulder. “I've got her. She's a lot heavier like this.” Pearl was about to protest that she was still strong enough to manage when Garnet squeezed her shoulder and added, “Someone's going to need to intercept Steven.”

 

Pearl nodded, understanding. “Of course.” Steven would be heartbroken just knowing Amethyst was hurt, never mind having to tell him they had no idea how to fix this. She stood, casting a final glance up at the statue of Rose that loomed over them. _Would you know what to do?_

 

* * *

 

 

Steven was in the living room, attempting to teach Peridot to dance when the warp light cleared. Pearl smiled lightly, despite the situation; that was so typical for him. Fortunately, they weren't in physical contact – it would have been just their luck for Steven's first successful fusion with another Gem to be Peridot, when they were unsupervised.

 

“Hey, guys!” Steven turned with a bright smile on his face to greet them, though it faded as he saw Amethyst. “What's wrong? Is she okay? Amethyst?”

 

Pearl moved to comfort him as Garnet settled Amethyst on the couch. Peridot frowned and rose on her toes, trying to see what was going on. Steven fought Pearl's hug, trying to get to Amethyst, and she let him go, but followed him to Amethyst's side.

 

“What's wrong with her?” Steven asked, his eyes filling with tears.

 

“We don't know,” Pearl admitting, hating that she didn't have answers for him like usual. “We encountered a new weapon, one we've never seen before. Peridot?”

 

Peridot blinked up at her curiously. “Yes?”

 

“We need you on this.” Pearl still hated to ask Peridot for help, but for Amethyst she could swallow her pride.

 

Peridot nodded, seeming to have the good sense for once not to gloat about the request. Maybe it was because it _was_ Amethyst; Peridot actually seemed to like her and Steven. “I'll do what I can. What was the weapon? Did you bring it back?”

 

“The pieces are in a bubble,” Garnet said, shrugging a little.

 

Peridot threw her a vaguely annoyed look. “Of course they are.”

 

Pearl felt the need to jump to Garnet's defense. “You see what that thing did to Amethyst! We couldn't risk letting it attack again. It might have been Emerald technology, if that helps.”

 

A darker green flush crossed Peridot's face. “Emerald, huh? Yeah. I don't have any of my logs on that, no thanks to you. We're doomed.” She started to scurry away, but Pearl was quick enough to grab the handle of the leash – and she couldn't deny a dark sense of satisfaction as Peridot reached the end of the leash unexpectedly and jerked back.

 

“I know you don't care much for me or Garnet still, but do this for Amethyst,” Pearl hissed, drawing Peridot in closer. That leash had been one of the best investments they'd ever made. “Do it for Steven.”

 

Peridot rolled her eyes dramatically. “You _clods_. I was going to see what I _could_ find in what I've managed to salvage.”

 

“Oh. All right then.” Pearl dropped the leash. “Go on, then. But the point still stands.”

 

“Yeah, whatever.” Peridot shook her head as she left the room.

 

With Peridot gone, Pearl was able to refocus her full attention on Steven. She knelt beside him, rubbing his back as he held Amethyst's hand. “Come on, Amethyst,” he begged. “Wake up for me?” He turned wide eyes on Pearl. “Can't we do anything? Mom's fountain? Something?”

 

“We tried that,” Pearl said sadly. She hated feeling so helpless. “Maybe you could try?” They hadn't tested his healing powers lately, not wanting to stress him if he failed again. She worried she was setting him up for that this time, but she would never forgive herself if they lost Amethyst and they didn't even try.

 

Steven shook his head. “My powers are gone.”

 

“We don't know that,” Pearl insisted. “Your failures, they were on non-living things. Maybe your powers just don't work that way. Your shield, the bubbles – they've only gotten stronger. You're growing so much. It's worth trying. And...if it doesn't work, it's not your fault. Even Rose's fountain didn't fix this.” It probably wasn't much of a confidence booster, but she wanted to avoid Steven blaming himself. “But you love Amethyst so much, and she loves you. Maybe that's the key.”

 

Steven nodded. “I guess we could try.” Pearl's heart broke for him as she watched him steel himself. He had to shoulder so many burdens so young, and she hated to put yet another on him. But he rose to the occasion, as he always did. He licked his hand and placed it on Amethyst's gem gently. Nothing happened. His face fell, but then he seemed to find a new determination. He leaned forward and licked her face, repeatedly. That switched to frantic but light kisses, and Pearl gasped at the briefest flash of purple light from Amethyst's gem that was gone almost as soon as she saw it. Steven collapsed back to the floor, despair on his face. “I guess it didn't work.”

 

Pearl pulled him into her arms as he started to cry. “It was a long shot. But, Steven, you got farther than anything else. Her Gem activated for a second.”

 

“So I was almost good enough?” Steven managed between sobs.

 

Pearl knew that feeling intimately – _almost_ good enough – and it wasn't a pleasant one. “Oh, no. No. You were great. You did your best. We – this is new to us, this weapon that hurt her. None of us have any idea what we're doing. It's not your fault.”

 

“I don't care if it's my fault; I just want Amethyst back!” he wailed.

 

Pearl nodded, unable to avoid tearing up as she continued running her fingers through his hair. “Oh, Steven. Me too.” She cuddled up against Garnet's side as Garnet moved in to hold them both. “Me too.”

 

* * *

 

 

Peridot returned from the bathroom – which she still maintained as her personal headquarters now, even though she was no longer locking herself in – with some insight into the situation. “I don't have much on Emerald tech in my Earth logs,” she explained, hastily drawing diagrams on the side of a box she'd grabbed from somewhere. “It wasn't relevant to my mission. Fortunately for you, I've studied nearly all Gem technology extensively as part of my training.”

 

“Spare us your pedigree; what do you know?” As usual, Garnet was eager to get to the point, and Pearl hardly blamed her.

 

“From what you've described of the item in question before its demise, did it look something like this?” Peridot quickly sketched a box that did indeed look similar to the one they'd encountered.

 

Pearl nodded. “That's it.”

 

“Oh.” Peridot made a face. “I was afraid of that.”

 

“What is it?” Steven asked.

 

“After the war, the Emerald Corps went above and beyond in delivering the best they could design to ensure that if there was another war, Homeworld's victory would be decisive.” Peridot nodded. “How this particular device ended up in that field is a mystery, unless it was left on a later scouting mission. Or it could have been an early prototype. We don't know, because it's in pieces.” She held up a hand to cut off protests. “That's irrelevant. I'm more inclined to believe it was a prototype, because those particular weapons were phased out centuries ago.”

 

“What does it _do_?” Pearl asked, for once not caring about the history. She just wanted to know how to fix this and save Amethyst.

 

“It was part of a brief foray by the Emerald Corps into psychological warfare.” Peridot chuckled to herself. “Mind games – that's more of a Citrine move, am I right?” She looked around expectantly, seeming disappointed when none of them appreciated her joke. Granted, citrines were known for their emotional nature, even in Pearl's time, but she was hardly in the mood to laugh, especially with what had just been revealed. “Ineffective, ultimately.”

 

“So it's going to wear off?” Pearl asked hopefully, running her hand lightly over Amethyst's arm.

 

“No idea.” Peridot shook her head, though if Pearl hadn't been watching her, she'd have missed the momentary look of regret. “It was deemed ineffective because it needs to be within close range and have a direct line of fire – both elements I'm sure you'll agree can be problematic on the battlefield. The concept was retired shortly after the Third Agate Era.”

 

That particular historical reference meant nothing to Pearl, nor did she care. The only post-Rebellion history that mattered to her was that of the Crystal Gems. Despite her occasional fantasies in the past, she wasn't returning to Homeworld. Even if she wouldn't be instantly executed as a traitor, she no longer had any desire. Not with what she'd seen and learned. “What does it do? Why is Amethyst like this?”

 

“I don't know!” Peridot's cheeks burned bright green. “There weren't exactly interviews with survivors. I don't know that there _were_ survivors. I'm a Kindergartener! Emerald technology was only a special interest of mine.” She sighed, calming slightly. “The theory is that, if it worked, it was supposed to amplify the perceived inadequacies of the chosen victim. Leave them...lost in their mind, as it were.” Her gaze wandered to Amethyst again, and there was a moment of what almost looked like sympathy in her eyes.

 

“Oh, no,” Pearl gasped. She heard Garnet make a similar noise of dismay. For Amethyst, who was already so insecure, especially recently, that could be completely disastrous. If Peridot was right, Amethyst was practically being tortured in her own mind. Pearl took Amethyst's hand, clasping it against her chest. “Amethyst...I don't know if you can hear any of this, but keep fighting. We'll figure this out.”

 

“Yeah.” Steven scrambled up onto the couch beside Amethyst, kissing her forehead. “We love you.”

 

“We do.” Garnet lightly ran her fingers through Amethyst's bangs, a tear leaking out from behind the right side of her glasses. She brushed it away with her other hand.

 

Peridot wandered over, not actually touching Amethyst, but she seemed uncharacteristically empathetic. “Yeah, uh – sorry this isn't my specialty. I'll do what I can for you.” Coming from her, that was downright affectionate.

 

“How do we bring her out of it?” Pearl asked.

 

“I don't know,” Peridot replied. “Reversing the effects wasn't exactly something they invested effort into researching. It would be like...you wanting to un-spear something after you hit it. It makes sense that none of your traditional healing powers have been effective, because the damage simply isn't physical.”

 

A fair point, Pearl supposed, but a disappointing one. “So she's on her own? We just have to hope she finds the strength to sort her way through whatever's going on in her head?”

 

“Essentially?” Peridot spread her hands out in front of her, shrugging. “I don't know. I wish I did.” She turned, retreating into the bathroom.

 

Garnet's expression was unreadable, but Pearl could tell she was thinking deeply about something. After a long moment, Garnet patted Steven's shoulder. “Steven, maybe you should check on her. She trusts you most. We'll take care of Amethyst.”

 

Steven looked doubtful. “Are you sure?”

 

Garnet nodded. “We'll call you if anything changes. I promise.”

 

“Okay.” Steven still looked unconvinced, but he followed Peridot into the bathroom.

 

Pearl looked up at Garnet once Steven was out of earshot. “You're not worried about Peridot.”

 

Garnet shook her head. “Not really. I hate leaving him out of things, but I feel like it's better if he wasn't here for this conversation.”

 

“Now you've got me worried.” Pearl toyed idly with a lock of Amethyst's hair to keep her hands occupied. “Steven already knows Amethyst's self-confidence isn't the best--”

 

“It's not about that.” Garnet shook her head. “Well, partly, it is. But...I have an idea. It's the only way I can think to get through to her. I'm not even sure I like it, but if it'll save her, it's worth it.” Her mouth twitched briefly, a small but clear clue as to how much inner turmoil whatever she had on her mind was causing. Her hands were steady, though, clasped together, which generally meant Ruby and Sapphire were unified on the matter. They just weren't happy, judging by the subtle facial twitches. “The only way to reach Amethyst is in her mind. I can only think of one way to do it.”

 

“Telepathy?” Pearl frowned. “None of us has that power. Unless Peridot...?”

 

“No.” Garnet's tone had a frustrated edge, but Pearl knew not to take it personally. “Even if she does, I don't trust her that much. I'm talking fusion.”

 

“Oh.” Pearl nodded, understanding. It made sense. While fusions were their own person, in addition to their component parts, there was a beautiful meeting of the minds that the process allowed. It was hard to describe, especially for a Gem like her that struggled with the process sometimes. Strengths and weaknesses could balance each other out in stable fusions, allowing for a peace it could be hard to find alone. It was a perfect answer, to introduce someone else to help Amethyst find her way – technically two someones, once the fusion was complete. There was just one problem. “But she can't agree to it like this.”

 

Garnet's mouth twitched again. “I _know_. That's why I'm struggling with it. But we don't have any other choice. If we want to save Amethyst, the end will have to justify the means.”

 

Pearl nodded solemnly. Forced fusion was possible. Difficult, and completely repugnant in theory. But, in this situation, Garnet was right. “She'll understand.” After the long talks she'd had with Amethyst after the Sardonyx debacle, she was sure Amethyst would understand. Especially if it was with someone she trusted as deeply as Garnet. Especially if it saved her from the hell her own mind had to be putting her through. “You should do it now, if you're ready.” She was glad Garnet had sent Steven away; it was definitely easier without having to explain things to him.

 

“No, Pearl,” Garnet said, her tone gentle but firm. “It has to be you.”

 

That was the last thing Pearl had expected to hear. “What?!”

 

Garnet lifted her glasses slightly so that her two lower eyes could directly meet Pearl's. She only did that when she was at her most serious. “I can't do it.”

 

“But you said yourself; it's the only way.” Pearl took Garnet's left hand in both of hers. “I can't pretend to guess how hard it must be for you, knowing how you feel--”

 

“It's not the ethics.” Garnet settled her glasses back into place, putting her right hand on top of Pearl's. “Sugilite is way too unstable for this. She's great if she needs to wreck things, but delicacy is hardly her strong suit. She might force Amethyst deeper into herself; I can't take that risk. We need Opal.”

 

Pearl's anxiety was nearly through the roof as she even considered it. Opal was, indeed, a far more serene Gem. Garnet was right; she would be perfect. Opal had a level of peace about her Amethyst and Pearl both struggled to find naturally. It was hard to maintain, though, and if they lost focus, she fell apart. “I don't know if I can hold her long enough. Or at all. It's hard enough to form her when Amethyst is cooperating. Fusion doesn't come naturally to me like it does you.”

 

“It didn't come naturally to Ruby and Sapphire at first, either,” Garnet pointed out. “It's a learned skill. You've had a lot of practice.”

 

Pearl was still doubtful. “Are you sure Fluorite wouldn't be better?” She hated to ask Garnet to unfuse, but Sapphire's knowledge and insight would make the process much easier.

 

Garnet laughed sharply, her voice shifting as she adopted Sapphire's speech patterns. “What, and unleash Ruby in the middle of an already emotional mess?” She smiled lightly, her normal unity returning. “ I trust you can do this.  _We_ trust you.”

 

Well, that was three against one. Unfortunately, she was the one whose confidence mattered most. “You trust me? After--”

 

Garnet squeezed her hands. “What happened with Sardonyx is in the past. This is a different situation. You don't have the raw power to force an unwilling fusion; even Jasper had to get Lapis to agree to Malachite. I don't believe it's something you could do if you wanted to. But a fusion whose core is peace and love? You've got this.”

 

Pearl nodded. “I – what do I do?” Obviously, there would be no dance, no syncing. Somehow, she had to use her own inner light to capture Amethyst's.

 

Garnet released her hands, guiding them to Amethyst's. “Touch her.” She moved her own hand to Pearl's back, a steadying force. “Close your eyes. Focus on her in your mind. The memories you share. How you feel about her. Anything that helps you feel closer to her.”

 

Pearl nodded, wrapping her fingers around Amethyst's hands. She focused on the feel of those smaller, thicker fingers. Made to grasp weapons, not designed for a dainty servant. Both of them had overcome what they were designed for, become better than that through Rose's love – and a lot of hard work. Pearl squeezed Amethyst's hands tightly, trying to remember the first time she'd felt them in hers. The first time this pipsqueak of an amethyst had come crashing into her life, propriety be damned.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. We Kept Amethyst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your lovely feedback and kudos! I'm really enjoying this one. <3

* * *

 

 

Pearl hated sweeps of the Kindergarten. It was bad enough what the site had done to the planet, what it represented, but the place itself just gave her the creeps. They hadn't been in a couple hundred years, and Pearl would have been happy to go several hundred more. But Rose was right. They did need to see how badly things had deteriorated, and ensure there were no signs that Homeworld had been trying to reactivate the site under their noses. In theory, there was no way Homeworld would be able to get that far without the Crystal Gems knowing, but the war had taught them never to depend on theory alone.

 

Pearl stuck close to Rose as they surveyed the Kindergarten, both to protect her if necessary and for the sense of security it provided. The Earth Kindergarten had been devoted to producing quartz warriors, primarily jaspers and amethysts, and Pearl's memories of encountering such gems were less than pleasant. To be in the very place that had mass-produced those bloodthirsty fighters – well, it was part of why the Kindergarten unnerved her as much as it did. Even knowing the site was inactive, Pearl was still leery.

 

A falling rock startled Pearl, and she jumped out of the way, pushing Rose clear out of habit. “Great. Rock slides now, too?”

 

Rose frowned. “Strange. This site shouldn't be _that_ unstable yet.”

 

Pearl was about to suggest they go back to the temple anyway, just to be safe, when she heard a high-pitched giggle. She jumped, looking up at the ledge above them, to find the source – a small purple gem, holding another rock. Well, at least it wasn't the land itself assaulting them, but this was still concerning. “What the--”

 

Rose laughed, holding up a hand as the little gem lifted her rock, as if to throw it. “Please don't.”

 

Pearl jumped in front of Rose at the motion without a second thought. “Do you have any idea who you're threatening? This is Rose Quartz, leader of the Crystal Gems--”

 

Rose smiled, her hand coming to rest on Pearl's shoulder. “Calm yourself, my Pearl. She looks harmless.”

 

“Harmless?!” Clearly the tiny gem was outraged at the accusation. She scrambled down, drawing a whip from her gem and holding it at the ready. “I'm not harmless!”

 

“Oh, my.” Rose's voice registered her shock. “She's an amethyst.”

 

Pearl was just as surprised. She'd been assuming the gem had possibly been left behind by Homeworld, some technician or random soldier they wouldn't miss. But, no, she had been made here. Though clearly something had gone amiss in the process. “But she's so small.” She moved in front of Rose nonetheless – even an amethyst as little as this one could be trouble. They were built for war.

 

“She must have not emerged yet when they were here last,” Rose murmured. “Or she's good at hiding.” The implication went without saying – if Homeworld had known of this runt, they'd have crushed her upon discovery. Or, potentially worse, she'd have been made somebody's pet. She squeezed Pearl's shoulder again, as if to reassure her, and knelt down, holding a hand out to the amethyst. Pearl wasn't so sure she liked the decision, but she had to remind herself that despite the drawn weapon, there had been no attempt to use it, either. “Come here, little one. I'm not going to hurt you.”

 

After a moment of consideration, the purple gem released her whip, scampering over to Rose's waiting arms. She let Rose pick her up, laughing as she touched Rose's hair. “You're pretty.”

 

“Well, thank you.” Rose smiled, settling the runt in her arms the way humans did their children. “My name is Rose Quartz. This is Pearl.”

 

Pearl offered a noncommittal wave of greeting. She still had her doubts, but she had less support for them as the situation unfolded. She had to remind herself she couldn't judge the little thing just on gem type; that would be no better than the many Homeworld gems who felt they could treat her as inferior simply because she was a pearl.

 

“I'm Amethyst.” She hid her face briefly in Rose's hair before returning Pearl's wave.

 

“How long have you been here?” Rose asked.

 

“Forever.” Amethyst shrugged. “Since I came out! No one was here. Just me and my rocks!”

 

Rose smiled. “Well, you won't have to be alone anymore. What do you think, Pearl? Should she come home with us?” Her expression suggested the decision had been made.

 

Pearl would have felt better if Garnet was with them to consult; future vision would have put her a little more at ease. But Rose was right; Amethyst looked harmless enough. And with all they'd lost in the war, they could use another Crystal Gem on their side if Homeworld ever came back to restart the war. “Why not?” 

 

“Then it's decided.” Rose cuddled Amethyst, who was clearly eating it up. But Pearl could understand. The poor thing had literally no one until now; of course she'd love Rose mothering her. Rose's love was a powerful force, something Pearl knew better than anyone. “Let's go home.”

 

Amethyst nodded, reaching out to Pearl, who smiled gently and took her hand. “Hi.”

 

“Hello.” Pearl had to admit; Amethyst _was_ pretty cute. “It's lovely to meet you.”

 

* * *

 

 

In the present, Pearl sighed, trying not to let her frustration overwhelm her – or worse, transmit that feeling to Amethyst somehow. “I don't know if I can do it.” Garnet's confidence in her was a boost, of course, but that didn't make the process itself easier. She hadn't felt even a flicker of that warmth, the transition to light that preceded a successful fusion. “I appreciate your faith in me, but--”

 

Garnet squeezed her shoulder. “I didn't say it would be easy. I said you could do it.” She shrugged lightly. “Doesn't always take the first time. Or the first couple. You just have to keep trying. And even when you're almost there, she might throw up defenses. It's natural.”

 

Pearl was afraid to prod too much, knowing what a sensitive subject it was for Garnet. Despite her assurances it was in the past, Pearl didn't want to risk Garnet's newly-regained trust by pushing too hard. But she had to know. “You've done this before, haven't you?” She hated to ask so directly, but she sensed Garnet wasn't going to volunteer the information otherwise. If Garnet's advice came from experience, it was a little easier for Pearl to believe she could pull this off and save Amethyst somehow.

 

Garnet sighed softly, but Pearl relaxed when she showed no signs of being upset by the question. “Not me personally, though I suppose you could say I _was_ involved. Sapphire had to do it once, with Ruby – her gem was cracked, and she couldn't initiate it on her own. Like I said, it's a last resort, but it's possible. Didn't take the first time then, either. You have to keep trying.”

 

“Of course.” Pearl hadn't even known it was possible to fuse successfully with a cracked gem, though if anyone could accomplish it, those two had the best chance of any gems she knew. She wanted to know more – if Ruby had been aware enough to agree, or if Sapphire had to push past all the defenses, like Pearl did now – but it was a delicate enough topic that she let it go. She trusted that if she needed to know more, Garnet would tell her. She closed her eyes for a long moment, centering herself, and took Amethyst's hands again. Maybe if she focused on the first time they'd fused. It had taken them both by surprise...

 

* * *

 

 

Pearl was enjoying a casual stroll down the beach when she heard Garnet shout, “Heads up, Pearl!” In battle, that would have been a warning to duck, but on an otherwise calm afternoon? Pearl turned, only to quickly have her answer come flying at her, literally. She caught Amethyst easily, rising up on her toes and spinning to counterbalance the sudden weight so they both didn't topple over.

 

Amethyst laughed, wriggling in delight, and jumped to the ground, running back to Garnet. “Do it again!”

 

Pearl sighed, but nodded as Garnet glanced at her. It was harmless fun – and, honestly, using Amethyst as a projectile could be a useful fight tactic with as hardy as she was, so it made sense to practice. (Not that Garnet needed much practice at throwing anything.) “All right. If you insist.”

 

“Yay!” Amethyst cheered as Garnet picked her up and prepared to toss her again. Pearl waited, smiling as Amethyst soared toward her, arms extended. She grabbed Amethyst's arms, twirling to bring her close. “See, Pearly? You can be fun!”

 

Pearl blushed at the nickname, ruffling Amethyst's hair. “I have my moments.”

 

Another laugh filled the air, one Pearl knew and loved so well. “Enjoying yourselves?” Rose asked, approaching them.

 

“Yeah!” Amethyst jumped from Pearl's arms again. “We should show her!”

 

“Okay,” Pearl agreed. “One more time.” She grinned at Rose as Garnet picked Amethyst up again, waiting for the perfect moment to catch her. She laughed, spinning Amethyst a few more times than was necessary, encouraged by her laughter and Rose's. A warmth filled her as she pulled Amethyst close to her chest – and in a flash of light, she found herself looking directly into Rose's eyes. Surprised – but not displeased – she looked herself over. A sudden peace filled her, something she was hardly used to but could come to enjoy. She wasn't Pearl anymore, but that identity wasn't gone. She was something more. She could sense Amethyst's consciousness having similar discoveries. Together they were greater than the sum of their parts. It wasn't the drunk with love feeling of Rainbow Quartz, nor the intense surge of strength and certainty she found in Sardonyx. This was totally different, a sense of quiet, surprised content. As the fusion settled, “they” became “she” and she was Opal.

 

Rose grinned, laughing in delight. “Well, hello.”

 

“Hello.” She extended a hand – one of four – and smiled as Rose took it. “I'm Opal.”

 

Garnet grinned, clearly pleased by this turn of events. “Pleasure to meet you.”

 

“Same.” Opal looked around, experiencing everything for both the thousandth time and the first.

 

“This is wonderful,” Rose said, hugging Opal gently. “I'd wanted to start training Amethyst in fusions, and here you two manage it naturally! Very balanced, too.”

 

They both warmed at the praise and Opal's confidence soared. After a few minutes of exploring this new form, they both got distracted by different things and lost focus, tumbling to the beach as themselves, but Pearl couldn't even be upset. She got to her feet, brushing the sand off her arms, as Amethyst jumped up, punching a fist in the air. “That was _awesome_!”

 

“Yes,” Pearl murmured, nodding in agreement. “It really was.”

 

* * *

 

 


	3. Fusion Confusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the continued feedback and love! Since I've been asked, yes, there is a definite plan for the transition from friendship to romance later for Pearlmethyst. They just need to sort some things out. And I went to watch So Many Birthdays to get a screencap of the old-timey photo for reference and remembered the tumblr headcanon I've seen (and seen a few good fics involve) that Pearl liking pie has to do with her memories of Rose and this chapter happened...

* * *

 

Rose had introduced her to the concept of pie. Rose wanted to experience all the human world had to offer. Pearl had no desire to eat; the concept of it revolted her on mutiple levels, but for Rose, she'd given this treat a chance. It wasn't bad. She still had to put up with the whole process of eating, but, occasionally, for the sweet taste and the warm memories of quiet time with Rose it evoked, it was worth it.

 

And, sometimes, it was just an emotional outlet. Pearl had cleaned her room four times and it hadn't quelled her growing rage, so she'd stormed into town, bought a pie at the baker's, and now she was sitting on the beach with it – potentially the angriest piece of pie ever eaten. She'd only managed two bites thus far and it was clear this wasn't helping. Nor were the memories of the flirtatious clerk who tried to prod to see who she might be bringing that pie home to. Pearl sighed, trying not to make a face as she swallowed, then glared at the remainder of the pastry. She hated for anything to go to waste, but Amethyst would probably eat it once she showed up. Pie tin and all, if they didn't watch her.

 

Pearl glared up at the temple, at the balcony Rose liked to sit on at night. The number of nights they'd watched the ocean together, just talking about humanity and this planet...sometimes Pearl wondered if that meant anything. She felt bad being so upset. Rose had never been anything but wonderful to her, far more than Pearl could have ever hoped for when originally placed into her service. Pearl had been a Gem whose destiny was to be nothing but a vapid servant and Rose had let her become so much more. Rose made her feel worth something. A pearl who owned herself? It was more than Pearl could have dreamed, those thousands of years ago. She had no right to be this angry – but was it Rose she was really angry at? That felt better somehow, if it wasn't.

 

Rose had a fondness for humans that went well beyond what most of the Crystal Gems felt. Pearl admired their spirit, their creativity and basic desire to better themselves. The others had their own reasons to protect the natives of this planet. Rose? She had many of the same reasons, of course, but with her endless capacity for love, she was genuinely _fond_ of them. And she found lovers in a few. This hadn't been so bad, originally, when it was one every few hundred years. Rose took up with a human who caught her eye, she either lost interest when they didn't connect emotionally or they freaked out about Gem Stuff and ran...and she came back to Pearl. The exact nature of what she had with Pearl was up for debate, of course, but Pearl didn't need to define it because it was always there. Rose's dalliances – well, Pearl hardly enjoyed them, but she could put up with one every couple of centuries.  She'd told Rose she was fine with it, after all.  Only now it was getting more frequent, like every couple of _decades_. “What's the point of having a fence to keep them out if it won't keep her in?!” Pearl yelled at the ocean in frustration. That wasn't really fair; of course Rose had every right to go out and explore the town. But there were humans out there, humans who found her fascinating – almost as fascinating as she did them.

 

The more Pearl thought about it, the more her anger began to fade into sadness. It wasn't Rose's fault she had so much love to share. It wasn't even this new lover's fault, really. It was Pearl's own, for not having the guts to tell Rose exactly what she wanted. She was sure Rose would grant her exclusivity if she asked. But was it fair to do that to Rose? Pearl couldn't justify it, so she was simply going to have to accept her position as the standby, the one Rose would always come back to when the shine wore off her new toys. It wasn't that bad a position to be in, really, when she thought about it.

 

It just hurt.

 

“Why so glum, plum?” a chipper voice asked from beside her. Amethyst.

 

Pearl waved a hand at her dismissively, not really paying much attention. “It's apple, actually. You can have the rest.”

 

Amethyst wasted no time in taking her up on the offer, finishing off the pie quickly, but then climbed into her lap, standing so that she looked Pearl directly in the face. “Well, thanks, but – no. That was a _joke_ . You know, because _I'm_ the purple one?”

 

“Oh. Yes.” Pearl picked Amethyst up, removing her from her lap and setting her down on the sand. “Funny.”

 

“Hey, you can't ignore me forever!” Amethyst was as stubborn as she was small; she scrambled back into Pearl's lap immediately, sitting this time, facing Pearl. “Why. Are. You. So. Sad?”

 

“Amethyst, maybe this isn't the best time.” Pearl jumped at the sudden addition to the conversation, but she had never been more grateful for Garnet's knack for arriving at just the right moment.

 

“But she's sad!” Amethyst frowned. “I just want her to feel better.”

 

“It's not always that simple,” Pearl murmured, ruffling Amethyst's hair fondly. “But thank you for your concern. I'll be fine.”

 

Amethyst didn't look convinced, but her attention was diverted at a sudden flash of light. She jumped up, squealing with excitement. “Ruby! Sapphire!”

 

Pearl jumped. Those two rarely split outside of an emergency situation anymore. She turned, frowning. “Is everything okay?”

 

Sapphire nodded calmly. “Sometimes we can be more effective in two places at once.”

 

Pearl was about to follow up on what Sapphire meant by that when Ruby jumped forward, laughing and tackling Amethyst to the ground and wrestling with her. “Come on, Ame, what do you say we get some training time in? You and me?”

 

“Wow, really? Awesome!” Amethyst needed no convincing and she twisted free of Ruby's grasp and started running down the beach. “You can't kick my butt if you can't catch me!”

 

“I'll be the judge of that!” Ruby called, taking off in pursuit.

 

Sapphire watched them go, then calmly settled herself at Pearl's side. “So. You do look like you need to talk.”

 

Pearl chuckled quietly. “You didn't really split just for the sake of counseling me, did you?”

 

“No.” It was always hard to tell exactly what direction Sapphire was looking, with her bangs over her eye, but she appeared to be gazing out over ocean, beyond the horizon. “Ruby _did_ want to spar with Amethyst. It's a fairer fight than having her take on Garnet. Two birds with one stone, as the metaphor goes.”

 

“So it goes.” Pearl nodded, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs. “It's nothing, really. Nothing new.”

 

“Rose's new paramour?” Sapphire asked.

 

Pearl sighed. “I know I'm being ridiculous. In time, she'll be gone like all the others.”

 

“And you'll have Rose to yourself again,” Sapphire said.

 

“That sounds so selfish,” Pearl murmured.

 

Sapphire shrugged. “Not if it's what your heart needs. I don't care to share Ruby with anyone. Fortunately, she feels the same.”

 

“Rose isn't like that, though.” Pearl shook her head. “Her love can't be contained. I can't ask her to do that for me.”

 

“Then the way I see it,” Sapphire said, “fate gives you three options. You accept the relationship as it is. You talk with Rose and tell her how you feel.”

 

“Or?” Pearl asked when Sapphire didn't immediately volunteer the third.

 

Sapphire reached up, parting her bangs so her eye could meet Pearl's. “You decide you can't continue like this and end the relationship.”

 

Pearl knew she could never do that. As much as it hurt at times like this, the times she did have with Rose made up for it. Rose's love was a powerful drug and one Pearl didn't want to quit. Sapphire had to know that. “Well, that's right out.”

 

“I thought so.” Sapphire took Pearl's hand, squeezing it gently. “Love can be a ship in a stormy sea sometimes.”

 

Pearl smiled. “I guess you would know.” Ruby and Sapphire hadn't been instant lovers or even instant friends, but things had worked out for them all the same, even if it took a lot of time and anguish. Pearl could only hope the future held the same for her. She was tempted to ask Sapphire, but she doubted she would get a straight answer if she did. Time and fate were both flexible, as Sapphire reminded them constantly, and she was very selective about sharing her visions. “You know what really gets me? It's so stupid. I know it doesn't mean anything.”

 

“Yet you're upset,” Sapphire observed.

 

“This one's name!” Pearl's lip curled as she said it out loud. “Marguerite.” She picked up a small rock from the sand, throwing it into the ocean as her frustration returned. She was going to need some serious time with her swords and holograms to get this out of her system. If she was feeling particularly vicious, perhaps she could pretend one of them was her rival for Rose's affection. “Do you know what it means in one of their human languages? 'Pearl'!”

 

Sapphire's face was non-reactive as usual, but Pearl knew her well enough to sense the sympathy in her tone. “I can see how that might bother you.”

 

“It's so stupid.” Pearl curled her legs closer to her body. It helped her center herself sometimes. “It's not her fault. It's not Rose's.”

 

“Nor is it yours,” Sapphire pointed out. Her head turned, a second before there was a loud crash and what might have even been an explosion from down the beach. She put a hand to her face. “Of course, relationships aren't always what they're rumored to be. Pardon me while I strangle my beloved. Hopefully before she fuses with Amethyst to 'try something.'”

 

“Oh, my.” Pearl hurried to keep up with Sapphire as they hurried toward the source of the noise. “That sounds like a potential disaster.”  Sugilite had been enough of a destructive experiment and she at least had Sapphire's restraint _somewhere_ in the mix.   In retrospect, leaving Ruby and Amethyst completely unsupervised might not have been the best idea.

 

 _Especially not for your insignificant problems,_ a voice in her head suggested, but she tried to ignore it.

 

“Oh, shards,” Sapphire hissed as they arrived a moment too late to stop the fusion. The smaller gems were gone in a flash, replaced by one as tall as Rose, but twice as muscular. Pearl was pretty sure she could level cities if the mood struck her. The fusion looked around, seemingly confused without anything to fight. “Ruby, Amethyst – you two unfuse. Now.”

 

“But what about me?” The fusion laughed, tossing her wild hair back. “I'm Fire Agate and I just got here. I think you of all gems would understand.”

 

“Oh, I understand, all right.” Sapphire crossed her arms. “This would be fine in an emergency, but some fusions we have to reserve for deadly situations!”

 

Pearl shivered at the sudden chill beside her, which was quickly gone as Sapphire regained control of her emotions. She nodded. “Sapphire's right. Your personalities are too forceful combined.”

 

Fire Agate cackled in response. “That's the best part. This is _fun_. Don't worry, babes. We'll be back soon. Let us have our party.”

 

Sapphire made a low noise of frustration. She'd never talked to Pearl about her perspective after the Sugilite fusion, but if she hadn't been able to rein in the chaos as a part of it, she didn't stand a chance now. That was the danger in unbalanced fusions – that rather than harmony, the fusion's own wild personality could become the driving force and keep those involved from separating as easily as they otherwise might. She held out her hand to Pearl, sighing. “Shall we?”

 

Pearl nodded. It was probably going to be the only hope they had of keeping this situation from getting out of hand, before Fire Agate got any ideas. Rose was out with Marguerite, something Pearl couldn't dwell on anymore or she'd be in no state of mind for a successful fusion. She took Sapphire's hand, dancing with her as they had before, though it was in the middle of a war last time. As she lifted Sapphire over her head, the fusion began to take and in a moment they were Aquamarine.

 

* * *

 

 

Pearl wasn't sure what had stirred that memory, but she had been lost in the memories of Opal, feeling as if she might have a connection to follow, when her train of thought had abruptly switched tracks. _Can't stay on task. Defective._ The words, other memories, rang in her head, but Garnet's hand squeezing her shoulder brought things back into focus. _No. No, I'm good enough. I can be. I have to be, for Amethyst._ Whatever Amethyst was fighting in her mind was undoubtedly worse.

 

Garnet's voice was a calm, reassuring anchor. Pearl couldn't break her concentration to follow the exact words, but the tone by itself helped. That smooth confidence. _Like Sardonyx..._ No. Opal had it too. Harder to maintain, not nearly so natural at first, but she had it. _Amethyst. Opal. Don't think of anyone else but them._ How good it felt to be her, wielding a bow nearly as tall as she was with finesse. Crushing monsters beneath her heel. Lithe in battle but with a body finally made for fighting. Gliding down the steps of the Sky Spire, knowing she was more than capable despite the danger they were in. Holding Steven, so tiny compared to her, knowing he was safe on her watch. His song and the warmth and laughter that surged inside her as she sang it back to him. _Love. Focus on love. Steven loves Amethyst. Do it for him. Do this for her._

 

Pearl found herself humming, and she didn't even know if it was out loud or just in her head. It felt so silly, but as she probed deeper into her memories of Opal, the feelings of her, she couldn't help herself. “All I wanna do...is turn myself into...a giant woman...” She could have sworn she heard Amethyst's laughter in response, and she tried to follow the sound. A warmth overtook her, and she could feel the connection starting. _I'm doing it. Come on, Amethyst, let's do this. We're so close._ She could feel the connection start, and this was the part where she was on her own. This was the part where she needed the other gem's light to meet her own. She had to draw Amethyst's out somehow and capture it. (This was the stage when Opal always went wrong all those years they fell out of sync. But, no, she couldn't think about that.) _Come on, Amethyst. It's safe. It's me._ She searched for that light, any sign of it, trying to picture all Amethyst was in her mind – laughter, life, resilience.

 

A purple wolf suddenly leapt into Pearl's mind, snarling and baring its teeth. Pearl gasped and found herself falling, landing on her butt in the living room. She shuddered, sighing in disappointment. “I was so close.”

 

“You were.” Garnet put an arm around her shoulder. “I saw it. You were nearly there. I told you she might put up defenses.”

 

Pearl looked down at the floor. “I wasn't ready for it.”

 

“You will be next time,” Garnet assured her. “You didn't fail. It just means you were getting close enough for those fears she's fighting to come for you, too.”

 

Pearl nodded, gathering her resolve. This time she would succeed. “Third time's a charm, huh?”

 

“Now you're talking.” Garnet smiled, however briefly. “Gather your mental armor. Know what you're expecting this time. What did she throw at you?”

 

“A wolf,” Pearl replied, moving back toward the couch. She pictured her armor from the war in her mind; it actually did help as far as mental tricks went. “An angry one.”

 

“So think like Amethyst,” Garnet suggested. “This time, bring dog treats.”

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 


	4. History is Like Gravity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys so much; your comments and kudos have been amazing and definitely made me want to write faster! There's still a wild ride ahead! Also, for the curious, the title is taken from a lyric in the Goo Goo Dolls song "Come to Me" - "History is like gravity; it holds you down away from me." It felt appropriate...

* * *

 

Pearl groaned as sensory awareness kicked in and she became aware of her environment. It was dark, warm, and stuffy. Something was pressing down on her, and she was both confused and a little concerned. She had no control over the environment she reformed in, after all; it was dependent on where her gem happened to be resting. Where _was_ she? She reached up, tentatively, and pressed against the shroud that would have threatened to smother her if she'd required oxygen. It was...fabric.

 

Amethyst's howls of laughter were muffled, but definitely nearby from the sound of it, and then there was a sudden weight on Pearl's midsection. “You finally done in there? I see you moving!”

 

Pearl wriggled around – not the easiest task with Amethyst sitting on her – and finally found an opening in the fabric. As she managed to get her head and an arm out, she could see that the fabric was that of a thick blanket and, inexplicably, they were in the back of Greg Universe's van. Great, her least-favorite human, and she'd been left at his mercy, on a futon mattress in this rickety van. “What _is_ all this? Why are we here?”

 

“Oh.” Amethyst didn't seem the least bit inclined to move anytime soon. “We put you out here because that monster that poofed you was still running around the temple for awhile. Rose thought it would be safer. S'alright – it's gone now. Rose and Garnet got it good!” She leaned forward, bracing herself with her hands to keep from toppling over. “Greg was worried you'd get cold, so he gave you a blanket.”

 

Despite her distaste for the man, Pearl couldn't deny that _was_ kind of sweet, if completely unnecessary. “That's very kind of him, but -” She continued to test the edges of the blanket, finding they were tightly tucked in place, allowing her little movement. She had the strength to pull them free, of course, though getting the leverage to do so would be easier once she displaced Amethyst. “What's the meaning of the tucked edges? Is this some human ritual? Is that what they mean by tucking their children in? Why would you imprison your own child like that?”

 

“Oh.” Amethyst giggled. “That part was me.”

 

Pearl wanted to be annoyed, but she was finding it hard at the sheer delight in Amethyst's expression, and it was doubly hard when Amethyst crawled forward and kissed her face lightly. “What was that for?”

 

“I missed you,” Amethyst admitted. “You take _forever_ to come back!”

 

Pearl blushed, trying not to let on how adorable she found Amethyst at the moment; she'd never hear the end of that. “Well, thank you. I missed you, too.” A white lie, considering she had no awareness of the time she'd spent regenerating – and one Amethyst would probably figure out if she thought about it long enough. But the way Amethyst's face lit up was more than worth the mild guilt. Amethyst needed a lot of validation and affection; she always had. It couldn't hurt for Pearl to throw her little scamp a bone now and then, right?

 

* * *

 

 

_Bones...dogs...wolves..._

 

There had been no sign of the wolf yet, but that didn't mean Pearl was past Amethyst's defenses. She wasn't even sure she'd encountered them yet. There had been a whole lot of nothing, other than bits of memory.

 

Pearl kept trying to immerse herself in those warm, fond memories as she reforged the connection. She'd been so close before; surely she could do it again. They'd been so close, once. There had been a time when they'd formed Opal for fun, to spend an afternoon on the beach being more than either of them could alone. That all stopped when Rose died. The fun and laughter had died with her for a long time. Not so long in the lifespan of Gems, really, but long enough to make an impact. Pearl hadn't even been able to look at Steven until he was nearly a year old; she regretted that missed time. Amethyst had seen him as more of a sentient toy at first. She'd been hurting, too, but she'd bonded with Greg for comfort. Greg, who Pearl was viewing as the enemy, the one who had taken Rose from them. The rift had grown, creating a chasm between them and damaging their relationship as Steven grew and they began relating to him in different ways. They took different approaches to raising him. Amethyst was still wild and playful, but now she didn't have the luxury of being the baby of the family. Pearl's “scamp” had become her number one nuisance, because she needed Amethyst to act like an adult. Rose had enjoyed mothering her, and Amethyst had eaten it up; eventually all of the surviving Crystal Gems had let her play that role. She wasn't an actual child, despite being very young by Gem standards, but she watched human children. She learned how they acted with their parents. How they got that love and playfulness rewarded. Centuries of playing a role and reaping the emotional rewards, and she'd been expected to drop it instantly when there was an actual child on the scene. No wonder she had a hard time adjusting. Whether it was the bond forming, her gaining access to Amethyst's sense of self, Pearl couldn't tell, but the sudden realization was a painful one.

 

“Oh, Amethyst.” Pearl had no idea where she was. It was almost like meditation, but not quite. She was in a dark hallway of some kind. She was wearing her old armor, which felt silly on one level, but comforting on another. Whatever was thrown at her, she'd be ready. “I'm sorry. I...” She needed to say the words, if there was any chance Amethyst could hear. “I had no idea how hard it was for you.” Amethyst tended to be very closed about her feelings, and to be fair, Pearl hadn't been listening many of the times she did speak up. Not if it was about Rose. “I could only see my own pain. I loved her for thousands of years. I know that doesn't make me any more entitled to her. I...you loved her, too, in your own way. All of us did.”

 

A growl in the darkness encouraged Pearl, strange as that felt. It meant she was getting closer. Had Amethyst heard, or was it just the emotional rawness Pearl was letting herself show? Either way, Pearl was stripping away the layers of defense between them. She could feel herself getting closer. “Amethyst, let me in. I want to help you.”

 

“ _No, go away! Just run away and cry, like you always do!”_

 

Pearl honestly couldn't tell if that was a response or a memory, but it echoed in her head. The words cut through her like a knife and she could feel the tears welling in her eyes, but she stood her ground. It wasn't a baseless accusation and that was why it hurt so much. “I'm sorry. You did such a good job of pretending you'd adjusted. You and Garnet both. I felt like...no. I let myself _think_ I was the only one who still cared.” Foolish. Selfish. She'd learned so much in the last couple of years, and she owed a lot of it to Steven. The boy she had once resented but come to love so much – as his own person, not some final link to Rose. “Amethyst, please listen. I...we've both made mistakes. Me especially, when it comes to your feelings.” It had gotten better recently, much better, but old hurts didn't heal overnight. “But we can work through it if you'd just talk to me.”

 

The growling intensified, and Pearl braced herself as the wolf jumped into her periphery again. This time, she was prepared. Her instinct was to draw a sword, but meeting one threat with another wasn't going to be the solution. As silly as Garnet's dog treat suggestion felt, she'd been right about one thing. This was Amethyst's mind they were dealing with and it only made sense to react in kind. Pearl tossed a handful of treats down the hallway, into the void, and the wolf turned tail and raced after them.

 

“Amethyst.” Pearl kept walking forward, even though she had no idea where she was actually going – or if she was going anywhere. “Please, please listen to me. Remember how it used to be?”

 

“ _ **This** is why we never form Opal anymore!”_

 

Pearl frowned. Was that her memory, amplified in this realm of...wherever this was? Or was Amethyst flinging those words back at her, hoping to chase her away? “ _Anymore._ We let so much come between us. Remember when it was easy? Remember dancing on the beach? Please, you _have_ to remember!” They'd put Opal aside when they couldn't see eye-to-eye anymore, said she was only for emergencies because it was too hard to sync up and too painful to remember why. But she'd always been there when they needed her; they found a way when it was necessary. To save Steven. To try to save Earth. And now, to save Amethyst. “Remember how good it felt?” She could feel her hold in this realm shaking, despite her resolve. “I know you're scared. I can't imagine what you're feeling right now. But if you've ever trusted me, think back to that and let me in!”

 

The darkness began to lift and Pearl was afraid she was losing her hold. But the familiar warmth stirred in her gem, and her heart soared. “Come on, come on...” She focused on that feeling, chased it, reaching out for the light she usually captured in a dance. But now it was around her, wary but trusting for the moment, and she had to grab it. Blinding, unfocused. Pearl couldn't think of a way to seize it all and solidify the fusion, but then it occurred to her – she couldn't think. She had to feel. Amethyst's emotions ruled her, not logic, and Pearl could only follow suit if she wanted to fuse with her. She shed her armor, stepping into a dance, imagining herself pulling the light around her. She laughed as she remembered Amethyst, once upon a time, trying to imitate her ballet steps and falling flat on her face as she realized dancing en pointe was not as easy as it looked. A memory filled her of their laughter, shared, as Opal danced and Amethyst cackled about finally being able to do it.

 

A spin, a jump, and then...

 

Opal's coming to awareness felt a little like watching Steven awakening, when she wasn't formed in the heat of battle. She stretched and took a minute to shift gears, content and excited for a new adventure. Especially when she'd been denied so long. Pearl and Amethyst had joked about “your arms” versus “my arms,” given Opal's four, especially when it came to things like eating, but they saw through the same eyes. Pearl tried to stretch and open her eyes. Nothing. This didn't feel quite right. Had she succeeded? It was hard to tell. She _thought_ she could sense Opal, but she was sluggish. Worried. That wasn't like her.

 

_Where's Amethyst? I can't feel her._

 

So that was what Opal was worried about. Had their form solidified yet, or was this a fragile connection? Pearl couldn't tell. She tried again to feel her limbs, open her eyes, but it was an uphill struggle, and perhaps it would be until Amethyst came around. This might be even more difficult than Pearl realized, but if she had Opal, she had a link to Amethyst's mind. _She's in trouble. We have to help her. Stay with me._

 

Opal's presence felt much fainter than usual, probably since Amethyst wasn't aware yet. Fusions were a conversation, as Garnet liked to put it, and so far this one was pretty one-sided. Pearl centered herself, trying to reach out to Amethyst again. “Amethyst. You're safe. These monsters you're fighting, they're in your mind!” Were there monsters? It felt like it. Pearl felt a surge of anxiety, self-loathing. It was a sensation she was intimately familiar with, but this wasn't her own and that felt odd. “Amethyst, I'm here! Let me help you. Let's get through this and we can do whatever you want together. I can help you in this fight, but you have to let me! You're not alone!”

 

_But I **was.** The monster was **me.** Alone. Forgotten. Just a useless runt._

 

“No!” Pearl reached for the sound of Amethyst's thoughts. They didn't really have any direction, nor did she expect them to, but she tried to reach out with her heart. _You were never a monster. We wouldn't have taken you home if you were._ She was assaulted with a sudden vision, a memory of facing an amethyst warrior in battle – and losing, badly. Not her finest hour, but to be fair, her opponent had been three times her size and literally bred for war. _That's not you. That's not what I think of you._

 

_Right, because I'm too little to be a threat._

 

 _You forget how many times you've kicked my ass._ Pearl debated it; she still felt formless, and if she pushed too hard, this connection could break and she'd be back at square one. But she pushed a memory back at Amethyst. Standing in a perfect line of pearls identical to her. About to be sold to be some higher gem's handbag and housekeeper. Echoing programmed lines about being made to serve. _We're more than where we came from._

 

She could sense Amethyst coming closer to letting her in, that final brick wall they'd been shouting over in their minds coming down. Opal's presence began to feel stronger. She reached out with her thoughts, trying to offer the mental equivalent of open arms...

 

...and, in the living room, a fluctuating ball of light and gems morphed into the solid form of an twelve foot tall fusion and fell off the couch.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. When Darkness is Upon Your Door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all so much. Each kudos and comment just makes me smile so hard and really encourages me! Apologies for the delay on this chapter; real life's been crazy busy these past couple weeks. I'm moving from night shift to days soon, though, so that should help.
> 
>  _You're caught on a one-way street with the monsters in your head..._ \- Crash and Burn, Savage Garden
> 
> Also, please enjoy this absolutely adorable [ commission piece ](http://three-legged-cow.tumblr.com/post/132440382856/commission-for-tairemedown) for the scene of bitty Amethyst and Pearl from the last chapter. She also did an [incredible piece](http://three-legged-cow.tumblr.com/post/132301551407/fire-agate-amethystruby-and-aquamarine) for me of the headcanon fusions of Amethyst/Ruby and Pearl/Sapphire...

* * *

 

 

Freedom felt like cruising at seventy-five miles an hour in Greg's van, heading north on the highway – away from Beach City, away from disapproval and responsibility. Well, not away from responsibility entirely; Steven was with them, snoozing contentedly in his car seat. But he was easy enough to manage. He didn't expect anything from them but food, love, and the occasional diaper change. Amethyst could handle that, though she usually let Greg handle that last part. She laid down, stretching out on the floor of the van as Greg and Vidalia cranked up the radio, belting out the lyrics of some old pop tune. They'd just crossed the state line into Keystone, and it was only a few hours more to Empire City. Vidalia had to pick her son up from her mother's house on Monday, but they had the entire weekend to do whatever they wanted with no one to tell them they were ridiculous or wrong.

 

So of course it had become an unmitigated disaster. Because despite Greg's name, the universe seemed to _hate_ them.

 

* * *

 

The fusion had worked. Pearl could feel it, but she couldn't control their shared body. There were moments when she felt like she almost could, but they quickly faded. A part of her worried, feeling like she was still failing somehow, but she reminded herself that, above all, fusion was a cooperative effort. At least when it was done right. It wasn't meant to be carried alone. And right now, Amethyst was unreachable. Pearl had felt a flash of something in their shared headspace – Steven, still a baby, sleeping in the back of Greg's van – but it was gone almost as soon as it came. The memory was warm, but laced with fear, and Pearl wasn't sure if she should try to pursue it or not.

 

Pearl had never experienced a fusion like this before, and she was afraid it wouldn't hold. She'd fought so hard for it, and it never took much for her and Amethyst to fall apart before. But, again, that had been both of them pulling away. Amethyst wasn't conscious now. Maybe that made the difference? It also kept Opal's personality from emerging fully, though. They had her body but not much else; her consciousness was present but quiet. The peace and confidence she brought to both of them came from their strengths and weaknesses combining and balancing each other out. The emotional feedback couldn't start without all the pieces of the puzzle being in place, and so Pearl was left with her own neurotic mind for the moment. What if she lost focus and none of this worked? What if she wasn't strong enough? But, then, if Lapis could hold Jasper – who had to be fighting tooth and nail to escape – in a fusion, surely Pearl could manage this. Malachite was the absolute worst kind of relationship and certainly nothing to emulate, but if revenge could be strong enough to hold her, surely love could keep Opal together. At least long enough for Pearl to reach Amethyst and bring her around. After that, maybe they could actually _talk_. They had been putting that off for far too long.

 

 _Amethyst?_ Pearl tried to call out to her, following the flashes of emotion. Even in a fusion, things could be concealed; their minds didn't merge completely. There was just the lack of physical barriers between them. One body, multiple souls. _I'm here. Let me help you._

 

Amethyst didn't respond with words, but in an emotional wave that nearly knocked Pearl off her metaphorical feet. Terror, anger, and disgust all combined in a whirlpool of feelings, but they weren't directed at her specifically. As Pearl had feared, it was mostly how Amethyst was feeling about herself. She fought through it, though, because there was something else at the core – hope. A part of Amethyst wanted to be saved, and Pearl couldn't let her down. She tried to think of something, anything that could pull warmer emotions to the forefront. Finding Amethyst and Steven napping together...a rare moment of quiet comfort as she and Amethyst held each other...and further back, when they'd been so close... Pearl always told herself Rose had been the glue that held them together, and it had been her death that tore them apart, but now she wondered how much her own responses played into it. She'd shut everyone out while she tried to recover from her loss. _Their_ loss. _Amethyst, I'm sorry._

 

She had an image of Amethyst standing before her, arms wrapped around her body, kicking at nothing as she did when she was uncomfortable or being scolded. “Nah, s'okay...I was just being selfish.”

 

“No, no.” Pearl stepped forward in her mind. Had she made contact or was this an illusion? She couldn't take the chance it wasn't. And even if it was, Amethyst was here _somewhere_. Maybe she'd hear. “If anyone was selfish, it was me. I never considered how much you all loved Rose, too. I should have been there for you instead of acting like I was the only one who was hurting.” She reached out, trying to pull the image of Amethyst close enough to hug her, but it disappeared. Pearl sighed, knowing it had been a possibility but still disappointed. Maybe if she tried to project images. It had seemed to be more effective before, when she was struggling to complete their fusion. She focused on a memory, when another wave of pure terror swept over her. She followed the source as much as she could. This was why she was here. _Amethyst, you're safe. It's not real._ She knew Amethyst's self-doubt was very real, but she could sense somehow – perhaps through the link Opal afforded them – that whatever Amethyst was seeing had never come to be.

 

_But it could have happened._

 

An actual response. Emboldened, Pearl seized it. _Then show me. Stop pushing me away. I'm here. We have Opal, but she can't really come around until you wake up._

 

A brief surge of curiosity and hope. Longing. Fear. _No. You should go, before I hurt anyone I care about again._

 

 _You haven't hurt me_ , Pearl assured her. _Not this time. We've both hurt each other in the past. We can talk about that, but for now, I need you to tell me what's in your head._

 

_You, apparently._

 

Pearl laughed. _So let me help you fight whatever else is here._

 

 _**No!** _ another voice, steely and dangerous, hissed. _**You can't go running to your so-called friends every time, like the useless gem you are.** _

 

She could feel Amethyst cower at the accusation and Pearl snarled. _No, that's what a team is for! That's what family is for! Don't listen, Amethyst._ Projecting the thoughts into a shared space felt more effective than thinking of them as if she were speaking aloud; it always took her a moment to adjust to that in a fusion. Usually she could sit back and let the fusion's personality dominate – enjoy the moment, only needing to direct specific thoughts to her partner. But this was no ordinary case. _Let's fight this thing together._ She imagined herself holding out a hand to Amethyst, pleased when the sensation was returned. _You don't have to do it alone._

 

After a few moments, Amethyst's voice returned, shaky but gaining resolve. _Okay. Let's do this. Where do we start?_

 

Pearl hesitated, unsure at first, but she could sense the remnants of a memory, the one Amethyst had been reliving recently. _How about there?_ She reached for the memory, trying to pull it back, and felt Amethyst resist immediately.

 

_You were there, once it all went to hell. You know what happened. I screwed up. Like always. It's my fault Steven got hurt._

 

Pearl wasn't even sure what the memory _was_ , but she couldn't recall a time Steven had actually been hurt because of Amethyst's actions. In trouble, occasionally, but not injured. _What are you talking about?_ Surely she would have remembered that, unless it had happened in his first year, when Pearl had actively been staying as far away from him as possible. She reached out to Amethyst. _I don't remember that._

 

 _You were there,_ Amethyst repeated, everything in her fighting the memory. _I've had to see it over and over. I don't want to do it again. I don't know why you didn't yell at me then._

 

 _I shouldn't yell at you as much as I do now._ Pearl made a firm mental note to herself to work on that, especially with as much as she had learned recently. So much of Amethyst's cockiness was a facade, and Pearl had too late realized a lot of the jokes she so casually made at Amethyst's expense were hurting her rather than playing along. _Please. Show me. I promise not to yell this time._ And not only because if she did, it would probably destabilize the fusion and undo all the progress they'd made.

 

 _Okay..._ Amethyst was still frightened, unsure, but there was a glimmer of trust. Pearl reached out to her, offering all the love and safety she could project.

 

* * *

 

To be fair, the trip itself had been fine. Empire City was a lot more fun with money, but there were plenty of shenanigans two broke single parents and a Gem who had no concept of finances could find. It was on the way home when everything crashed and burned. Literally.

 

Greg and Vidalia were giving an inspired performance of “Sweet Caroline” in the front seat, while Amethyst popped in to join them for the chorus. Mostly, though, she kept an eye on Steven, who was awake and starting to get bored with the trip back. They were about an hour outside of Beach City, but Amethyst had learned over the past year that an hour might as well have been forever to a baby. Thirteen months with this kid, adorable as he was, had taught her the true definition of impatience.

 

Steven began to fuss, reaching for Amethyst. “Ah-may...”

 

Amethyst grinned. “Are you trying to say my name?”

 

He wriggled happily at the attention, reaching still. “Up!”

 

Amethyst frowned. Greg had explained to them the need for the car seat, and once Pearl got the concept of it, she had inspected it thoroughly and then lectured Amethyst for several minutes about how she was not to remove Steven from it inside the van, ever. But Amethyst shrugged. Just a minute couldn't hurt. This was a quiet stretch of road. She'd put him back once he got his cuddles and settled down. “What does Pearl know, anyway?” Amethyst murmured, undoing the buckles that held Steven in place. “She only started caring about you, like, a month ago. Suddenly she's in charge?”

 

Steven giggled, his hands latching in Amethyst's hair as she held him. She was just about to hand him a toy and put him back in the seat when the world exploded into motion. Vidalia shrieked; Greg shouted some kind of warning. There was a sudden impact that sent the van reeling. Amethyst wrapped herself around Steven as tightly as she could, fighting the physics that threatened to rip him from her arms. There was shattering glass, smoke, and a burning pain. Steven was screaming – that high-pitched scream that meant he was hurting. Greg shouted something, something Amethyst couldn't make out because everything was agony. She only caught Greg's terror, her name. Vidalia was crying and yelling for help. Amethyst fought to stay conscious long enough to make sure Steven made it into Greg's arms before she retreated into her gem.

 

* * *

 

 _That accident_. Pearl shuddered from a combination of Amethyst's terror and remembering her own. _But...you protected him._

 

 _After I got him hurt in the first place_. Amethyst was withdrawn, her guilt surging. _That seat was supposed to keep him safe. He broke his arm! Don't you remember?_

 

 _I do._ Pearl sighed. She had just started to accept Steven, to _want_ to love him, and they'd come so close to losing him. Along with Greg and Amethyst. (Admittedly, at the time, Pearl wouldn't have been all that choked up about Greg, but they'd come a long way.) _And normally, I'd agree that wasn't the safest decision you've ever made._

 

_But you promised not to yell at me, so you're not._

 

 _No._ Pearl frowned. _You don't remember the rest, do you? Didn't anyone ever tell you?_

 

 _There was more?_ Amethyst was genuinely shocked; Pearl could feel it. _I thought you guys just decided not to freak out on me because I got hurt too._

 

 _No. There was definitely more._ Pearl had no idea whether Amethyst had been actively struggling with her guilt all these years or if it had just been thrown at her on loop because of the Emerald weapon. _Let me show you how I remember what happened._

 

* * *

 

Pearl and Garnet had spent the past several hours on the beach, appreciating the view. Each of them had been lost in their own thoughts, enjoying the quiet companionship, when suddenly Garnet yelped in alarm.

 

Pearl jumped. “What?!”

 

Garnet frowned. “Rose's car.” One of Rose's indulgences from the human world – and Pearl still didn't know exactly how she'd acquired it, despite having been Rose's primary confidante – had been a pink convertible. She'd mostly retired it after meeting Greg, as he preferred his van's flashy branding, and the other Gems had no need for vehicles. Rose hadn't needed one either, really, except that she liked fun things even if they made no sense. “Do we still have it?”

 

Pearl nodded. “Yes, of course.” As silly as the thing was, she had no desire to get rid of anything that had belonged to Rose. Besides, many young humans seemed to have an obsession with when their parents would give them cars once they came of age, and it was only fair for Steven to have Rose's when the time came, if he wanted it. “It's in a garage in town. I go by to make sure it's maintained every so often.”

 

“Good. We need it. You remember how to drive it, right?” Garnet was already on her feet, and though her visor hid her eyes, Pearl knew from her tone they had to be wide.

 

“Well, yes, but—what's going on?”

 

“I'll explain on the way.” Garnet started running down the beach, in the direction of the town, and it was all Pearl could do to keep up. Fortunately, she kept the keys safe in her gem, so they didn't need to make any stops along the way.

 

* * *

 

 _Aw, man, you've gotta bring Rose's car out more often! That thing was sweet!_ Amethyst perked up, laughing, and Pearl was willing to consider it an accomplishment.

 

 _I'm saving it as a surprise for Steven now that he's older._ Pearl smiled to herself. Amethyst still needed to hear the rest of the story, though, and Pearl wanted to continue before Amethyst's mood fell again. _I never did get much of an explanation out of Garnet, but I'd figured out it had to do with her future vision. She never would tell me what she originally saw, but in the end, I'm glad I didn't know._

 

* * *

 

They had managed to beat their friends to the hospital. Garnet hadn't even had to bet on which one; on this stretch of road it was the only one for miles. Outside of Beach City, where Gems weren't so common a sight, Pearl and Garnet gathered a few odd looks as they paced the waiting room, but they didn't care. It had been too late to prevent the accident, if it even _was_ preventable, and Garnet had snapped for Pearl to take the highway exit for the hospital instead. They'd skidded in to the parking lot minutes before an ambulance had, and Garnet nodded. “That's the one.” Since they couldn't get past the double doors leading to the back where patients were, guarded by staff, they paced the waiting room and waited anxiously.

 

Pearl didn't keep track of the time, but after what felt like far too long, Greg stepped into the waiting room. He threw himself at Garnet, hugging her, then gave Pearl a nod of greeting once he composed himself. He looked all right, beyond a few scrapes, so Pearl immediately hit him with her most pressing questions. “Is Steven okay? Where's Amethyst?”

 

Greg looked deeply shaken, but he nodded. “Steven's gonna be fine. His little arm's broken, but they said that's all. Once I got them to stop obsessing over his gem. I think one of those docs is convinced I glued it on like he's some kind of troll doll.”

 

“He is _not_ a troll!” Pearl snapped, outraged anyone would even think it of Rose Quartz's child.

 

“Of course he's not—never mind.” Greg chuckled, shaking his head. “Remind me to show you one of those things sometime. It's human stuff. There _is_ a strange resemblance. Especially when his hair gets all wild.”

 

There was still a question Greg hadn't answered. “Where's Amethyst?” Pearl asked again.

 

“I, uh – I left her with Steven and V while I came out here to look for you guys.” Greg shrugged, looking awkward. “I saw Rose's car in the parking lot. Figured you were here.”

 

“ _And_?” Pearl prompted, when Greg didn't immediately continue.

 

Greg spread his hands in front of him. “I don't know much about this gem stuff. I think she's gonna be okay? I mean – you did that once; it was fine.”

 

“Did what?” Pearl asked, her fear rising.

 

“That weird...disappear into the gem thing?” Greg looked equal parts worried and totally confused.

 

“Oh, no,” Pearl murmured. “She was hurt enough to retreat into her gem?”

 

“Yeah.” Greg winced. “It was...bad. A piece of metal went right through her. She gave Steven to me, then...whoosh, puff of smoke, and there she was. You try explaining why you can't let the staff here lock a chunk of amethyst up as one of your 'valuables.'” He laughed nervously, in that way he did when he was on the verge of freaking out. “I don't even want to think about how it might have been for Steven without her. God. He's so little, and the way she was just wrapped around him....”

 

Garnet nodded. “She protected him.”

 

“Definitely.” Greg nodded firmly. “I, uh, I'd better get back to him; they're probably gonna get the cast and all on him soon.” He glanced at the doors, then them. “You want to come? You'd probably know better than me how Amethyst is doing anyway. And Steven will love seeing you.”

 

“Of course.” Pearl followed him, Garnet easily falling into step beside them. “How long has it been since Amethyst went back into her gem?”

 

Greg paused to explain to the woman at the desk that he was bringing family back with him, and she buzzed the three of them through the door. “I don't know – a couple hours? I wasn't keeping track. You took, like, a _week._ ”

 

“Amethyst regenerates much faster,” Garnet explained. “She should be back before long, assuming all goes well. Quartz gems were designed for hardiness.”

 

“Oh.” Greg nodded, the look on his face suggesting he found that legitimately interesting. “So what were pearls designed for?”

 

Pearl glared at him, though it wasn't really his fault. She was hardly in the mood for that conversation, though. “Whatever we want to be.”

 

Greg shrugged. “Fair enough.” He rounded the corner into a room where Vidalia sat with Steven in her lap. There was a splint on one arm, and he had the other one wrapped around Amethyst's gem. There were tear tracks on his tiny face, but he lit up at the sign of them. “Da!” He reached his splinted arm for Greg.

 

“Hey, buddy!” Greg scooped him up, carrying him over so Pearl and Garnet could look him over. “I see those pain meds they gave you are working. Thank goodness.” He kissed Steven's forehead. “You're doing such a good job watching out for Amethyst.”

 

Pearl's first instinct was to point out that he was a _baby_ and probably had no higher concept of what he was doing, other than playing with a shiny toy, but then she wondered how much of Rose was still in him. Maybe he was trying to watch out for Amethyst, in the limited way he could. “Is her gem intact?” She wanted to examine it, but Steven was holding Amethyst pretty tightly and she didn't want to risk making him cry if she didn't have to.

 

“It seemed okay.” Greg nodded. “Definitely in one piece. There was a little crack, but...that's like, nothing for you guys, right?” He turned away briefly to fish for something in the baby's diaper bag.

 

“A crack?!” Pearl tried not to shriek. “That's _definitely something_.” If Amethyst was even able to regenerate from a cracked gem at all, there was no telling what might go wrong. Garnet's hand on her shoulder couldn't calm her entirely, and she just barely restrained herself from pulling Greg back toward her so she could snatch the gem from Steven.

 

Greg turned. “What? I—Steven!” He frowned at the baby, who had stuck as much of Amethyst's gem into his mouth as he could fit. “Don't chew on Amethyst.” He plucked the gem away, examining it seconds before Pearl grabbed it. “I don't see it now, actually. Might have been the light.”

 

Pearl scrutinized the purple gem, but she couldn't find any cracks either, thankfully. She wiped the baby's saliva off with a paper towel, though Amethyst probably wouldn't have minded. It was habit. “No, she's intact. Fortunately.” She glanced to Garnet with a curious look and when Garnet smiled and nodded subtly, she relaxed. Everything was going to be okay.

 

It wasn't until Pearl was working on fixing the wrecked van later and she saw how the impact had nearly destroyed Steven's car seat that she realized exactly how bad it could have been.

 

* * *

 

 _The truck that crossed into your lane hit right where Steven would have been sitting. If you hadn't been holding him – and kept your hold on him – there's no telling what might have happened._ Pearl shuddered even to think of it, but Amethyst had to know everything. Especially now, when she didn't need even a hint of an excuse to torture herself with needless guilt.

 

 _Oh. Wow._ Amethyst was quieter than usual, but Pearl could tell the point had been made.

 

_I'm sorry we never told you. I thought you knew._

 

 _Greg said something about me taking care of Steven, but I thought he was just being...Greg._ Amethyst warmed a bit, something resembling pride beginning to surface in her.

 

 _No, Amethyst. You probably saved his life. Though I don't normally recommend such disregard for safety devices..._ She pushed a little extra affection at Amethyst with the thought, hoping to convey without doubt that she was teasing.

 

 _Hey, sometimes you get lucky._ Amethyst chuckled.

 

 _Very lucky_ , Pearl agreed. Finally, she seemed to be getting through. Unfortunately, the victory was short-lived. A wave of terror quickly swept over them and she felt Amethyst jerk away again, though not enough to sever their connection completely.  _No. Stay with me, Amethyst. Whatever this is, we'll fight it together._

 

* * *

 


	6. The Moments When You're in So Deep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa, so my timing on finishing this chapter could not have been better, because HOW ABOUT THAT STEVEN BOMB ANNOUNCEMENT to get me hyped for diving into writing the next one? Now it's on to get this done before new episodes potentially end up jossing me! :) (But, let's be real, even if they do, I'm still gonna finish it. I've spent way too much time plotting all the twists and turns to give up over a little thing like that!) Thank you all so much for your support, and I hope this chapter was worth the wait as I dealt with real-world wackiness! 
> 
> Also, since it becomes relevant in this chapter, my personal headcanon for Amethyst is that she's pansexual. (And while not highly relevant to this chapter, Pearl could not be more gay if she _tried_.)

* * *

 

 

“Where’s Amethyst?” Pearl had checked all of her usual haunts, even searching Amethyst’s room for as long as she could tolerate the mess. “I can’t find her anywhere.”

“Last I heard, she was headed for Peru,” Garnet answered casually, not looking up from the artifact she was examining.

“What the – _why_ is she –” Pearl threw up her hands, shaking her head. “I don’t know why I bother to be surprised anymore.” Amethyst had developed a habit of taking off for parts unknown when things had been calm for a while, exploring different corners of the planet. She always came back to the temple eventually. Over the last couple of centuries, Amethyst had really grown, both in maturity and form. They'd grown used to her projected age fluctuating with her mental state in each new regeneration – not unheard of for a Gem, but unusual. She would take on a more mature look as her self-assurance grew, but trauma had her reverting to a younger state the next time around, letting Rose mother her again as she used to. Things seemed to have stabilized, though, and it was a good sign. Amethyst looked more like what the humans would perceive as a young woman versus a child and had for some time now. She’d grown as a Gem, refining her skills. While she’d never lost her playful edge, she seemed to have gained some sense of propriety. It was about that time she’d become more adventurous, confident enough to go see the world when she got bored and come home when she was ready. It might take a few weeks, but Pearl was confident she’d return soon enough.

When weeks turned into months, Pearl finally started to worry.

When three months turned into six, they all did.

When Amethyst finally came home after nearly a year away, with a new form that appeared more childlike than they’d seen from her in a long time, Pearl knew something bad must have happened. But Amethyst firmly refused to discuss it and Pearl didn’t want to push. Rose’s love seemed to be the best cure they could offer and there was plenty of that to be had.

 

* * *

 

Amethyst hadn’t planned on staying in Lima as long as she had, but she also hadn’t planned on Francisco Salazar, a wealthy businessman who had become enamored with her. He’d invited her to live with him in his villa on the coast. Amethyst had been more than happy to accept, and Francisco had kept her living in the lap of luxury ever since. The beach view reminded her a lot of home, though she always intended to send word to them and let them know she was fine, time kept getting away from her. After over four thousand years of existence, it was easy to let that happen – especially when she was caught up with her whirlwind romance.

Amethyst had been relaxing on the chaise lounge in the sunroom, watching the tide rolling in through the picture window, when she heard a door slam and a burst of alarmed Quechua from Suyana, the housekeeper. “What the--?” She was just about to investigate when Suyana came flying into the room, throwing the door shut behind her.

“Señora Amatista!” Suyana had made the assumption some time ago that Francisco and Amethyst were actually married, and given most humans’ attitudes on cohabitation in this era, Amethyst had never bothered to correct her. “Señor Reynosa, he just came in here; he’s very angry, wanting to see your husband!”

“What? Why?” Amethyst was immediately on edge. Reynosa was a jeweler in town, one Amethyst had no love for. He and Francisco knew each other professionally, and Amethyst had urged Francisco to cut their ties. He felt she was being oversensitive, but she had a bad feeling about the man. Nearly all gemstone jewelry on Earth was synthetic, but over the thousands of years since the Gem War, humans had found and collected a number of the shards from fallen gems and they’d made their way across the globe. Obviously, these - dubbed “true gemstones” - were highly rare, and fetched a steep price. They were also absolutely nothing short of disgusting to the Crystal Gems, for obvious reasons, and most humans who knew of gemkind. As Francisco was a devoted animal lover, Amethyst had tried to compare the trade to fur coats, but he had kissed her cheek and told her he felt it was different. That it was so long ago and the Gems involved had been long dead. It was the only thing they really fought about. And Reynosa was heavily involved in the sale and circulation of true gemstones.

There was the sound of footsteps, heavy on the staircase, shouting – an argument, both Francisco and Reynosa, continuing into the foyer. Amethyst crept toward the door, trying to listen in, when she heard Francisco yell her name – in English, not the Spanish translation he always affectionately called her by. Then gunshots, three of them. Suyana screamed. Amethyst gasped and pulled her whip, rushing out into the foyer. _Then_ she screamed.

Reynosa was nowhere to be found, but Francisco was on the floor, chest covered in blood. Amethyst dropped her weapon, rushing to his side, screaming for Suyana to call the police, a doctor, anyone. She knelt on the floor beside him, tears welling in her eyes. Rose could heal him – but she was so far away; she'd never make it in time. Frantically, Amethyst tried to remember where the nearest warp pad was, if she could get them there. “Frankie.” She'd given him the nickname when he'd bestowed hers, joking that if he was giving her a proper Spanish name she'd give him an English one. Amethyst took his hand in both of hers. She didn't even know what to do. She'd seen humans injured before, but if Rose was around, she helped, or there were human doctors. This was so far out of her league and she felt helpless. “Hang on, okay? We'll fix you up. I – I told you about my friends, right? I'll get you to them, and--”

He lifted his other hand to her cheek, quieting her. “My Amatista. I should have listened to you. I'm sorry.” It was clear every word was an effort and his eyes slid closed moments later.

“No, no, no, no, _no_!” Amethyst’s panic grew, her silent tears giving way to heartbroken sobs as his chest stopped rising and falling. She didn't notice the front door opening, the man creeping up behind her. She didn't notice anything until a hand latched in her hair, which she'd been keeping in an elegant braid. It was Reynosa, and he grabbed her at the base of the braid, giving him easy control of her head. He yanked her backwards, turning her face toward his. “You bastard; I'll kill you!” she shrieked, her grief only amplifying her rage. Amethyst had never killed a human before, but she had no qualms about him being her first. She summoned her whip again, but despite it being a close-range weapon, this was _too_ close to be effective. She probably should have shape-shifted to free herself, but she needed to be able to _think_ for that and her emotions were running too high to try.

“Your man seemed to love you quite a lot, but he was foolish to try to stop me,” Reynosa hissed. “That toy won't do you any good. You're worth no more to me than that pretty thing in your chest. If I knew how exactly to kill your kind without damaging it, I'd have done it already and this would be over. A specimen that large and smooth will have me living nicely for the rest of my life.”

The only relief was that he didn't seem to want her gem damaged. If he left it alone, whatever he did to her, she might have time to regenerate before she was turned into some macabre necklace. If that happened, her only hope was that the other Crystal Gems would avenge her, if they found out. So many ifs. She twisted, trying to find purchase to wrench herself from his grasp. She was stronger than him; if she weren't being held at such a limiting angle, she'd have ended him by now. Reynosa drew an arm back and she cried out at the sudden agony of a knife driving into her lower back.

The next thing Amethyst knew of the world, she was dropping from where her gem had levitated, into a basket of laundry. Suyana gasped. “Senora! You're...”

“Yeah, I probably look a little different.” Amethyst stretched. Her hair, now cropped short, brushed one cheek as she turned her head. She assumed Suyana had been the one to put her in the laundry basket. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Suyana drew closer. “Is this...common, for your people?”

Amethyst didn't blame her for being a little confused. “Yeah. We change it up sometimes when we come back. No big deal.” She really hadn't put any deep thought into it this time around, just going on autopilot, what felt right. Her beaded dress had become a simpler frock, along with the new hairdo. “Listen. I...have to leave. You're wonderful, really, but...” Her mind was in chaos. More than anything, she wanted to throw herself into Rose's arms and cry it out, figure out where to go from here. “It's time for me to go home.”

“I understand.” Suyana stepped forward, hugging her gently. “I'm very sorry for your loss. The police, they said they would be sure Señor Reynosa paid. We thought he had killed you as well!”

“Thanks.” Amethyst nodded. “Do me one last favor?”

“Anything,” Suyana promised. “You and Señor Francisco, you have been so good to me.”

“Let them keep thinking I'm dead.” After getting Suyana's assurances that no one would be looking for her, Amethyst gathered a few trinkets to take home with her, things to remember by that she knew wouldn't break her heart every time she saw them. She only stayed long enough to write a letter and plant it in the study, with all of the other important household documents.

In the event of Francisco's death, everything had been willed to Amethyst. Who was also gone, without a formal will. With the discovery of her letter, however, the lawyers were forced to conclude the only proper thing to do was follow her stated wishes and leave the Salazar home and fortune to Suyana.

 

* * *

 

 _Oh, Amethyst._ Pearl's heart broke as she lived the memory, seeing those terrible moments through Amethyst’s eyes. _I'm so sorry._ Not just for what happened, but the assumptions she'd made. Things she had said, even if it was decades after the fact. Amethyst did know what it was like to lose love, even if she hadn't been with him for thousands of years. She had coped with it and the trauma of the entire experience of _nearly being turned into jewelry_ by stepping back to a simpler, safer role. And when they lost Rose and Amethyst had trouble giving up that role, Pearl had judged her so harshly.

 _You didn't know_. The initial wave of terror had ebbed and Amethyst was still not herself, but no longer trying to withdraw from Pearl's presence. It had been a struggle to hold on to Amethyst’s consciousness as the memory forced itself to the forefront, but Pearl had managed. She was proud of that much, even if she still felt terrible about dismissing Amethyst’s reasons for being the way she was.

 _I still should have tried to understand._ Pearl shuddered at the thought of the near-miss, of their Amethyst being someone's shiny status symbol. It was revolting, a fate that seemed only slightly less horrifying than the fusion experiments. _I'm so glad you survived._

_Yeah, me too._

Even having Amethyst admit that was encouraging, that she was glad to have survived. _You'll survive this, too._ It would be so easy if they could just wake up, not have to find their way out of the maze that was this headspace Pearl had fought her way into. But, as life had proven so many times, the most worthwhile things were rarely easy. _We do this together. If I couldn't help you when you needed me before, let me help you now._

 _Even considering the times I tried to murder the shit out of you?_ Amethyst asked, another wave of self-loathing creeping in.

Pearl frowned. _I think that's an exaggeration of our fight at the Kindergarten. You had the opportunity to seriously hurt me a few times and you didn't take it._ Besides, again, while it was true that Amethyst hadn't really communicated how their attitudes toward the Kindergarten and the Gems grown there hurt her, Pearl had still been complicit in years of it.

_Okay, maybe, but what about Sugilite?_

That was slightly closer to attempted murder, admittedly. _Sugilite is a sentient wrecking ball. You can't take responsibility for all her actions. That would be as ridiculous as blaming Garnet._

_But –_

_No._ Pearl could understand where Amethyst was coming from – she still felt vaguely embarrassed every time she thought of the disastrous attempt Sardonyx had made at a multinational tour, long ago – but she wasn't going to let her do this. _I saw a lot of unbalanced fusions get out of control during the war. That's the biggest risk of them, if they stay in control too long. It's no one Gem's fault. No fusion I've ever seen except Malachite can stay together with one Gem insisting on full control. That's not how it's meant to work._ Amethyst knew this, of course, but Pearl figured the reminder couldn't hurt.

 _You're right,_ Amethyst admitted. _So what next?_

Pearl smiled, holding out her hand to Amethyst. She could sense Opal's consciousness again, a little stronger than the brief contact earlier. They were getting closer. Soon, they would be on the other side of this and they'd have to unfuse and go back to the barn and cooperate with Peridot. They'd have to get back to work on stopping the cluster – which was, of course, important. But surely they could take at least the rest of today off and enjoy a few more hours as Opal, with all they'd been through. _Let's get out of here and spend the rest of the day on the beach._

 

* * *

 

 


	7. Fate's Wide Wheel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, we're so close! Steven Bomb in 6 days! 
> 
> The song Greg's singing (which also provided the title of this chapter) is "Fate's Wide Wheel," from the Quantum Leap episode Glitter Rock. It's also on that show's soundtrack album, performed by Scott Bakula. It's a great song and it made me think of something Greg might have written or been trying to write, so I borrowed a line. Credit to Mike Post, Velton Ray Burch, Chris Ruppenthal, and Mark Leggett (according to the album credits).
> 
> Thank you all again for your support on this story! I'll be wrapping it up soon...I'm thinking the chapter after this might actually be the conclusion.

* * *

 

 

“ _As I travel in space and time…I want to stay, I want to go…”_

Greg’s song provided a quiet soundtrack to their late-night beach party. Rose had left already, needing to attend to something in the temple. Vidalia was lying on her back, looking up at the stars, with Amethyst draped across her legs while Greg played with an acoustic guitar. None of the three of them had really ended up where they thought they might in life – not that Amethyst had ever been totally sure where she was meant to end up, anyway – but it was all right, because they had each other. And if nothing else, they had tonight. There hadn’t even been any alcohol involved, just the hypnotic sounds of the waves lapping the shore, the warm air of the summer night, and entirely too little sleep for the human members of the party.

“Amethyst?” Vidalia finally asked, after several quiet moments of listening to Greg play with notes and rearrange lyrics. “I need to ask you something.”

“Huh?” Amethyst was entirely comfortable, lulled by the ambience, so she didn’t move except to turn her head slightly. She had been on the verge of drifting to sleep, and the syrupy tones of Vidalia’s voice suggested that she'd been too. “What’s up?”

“Now, this is really important.” Vidalia’s tone held the unshakable kind of conviction that only the intoxicated or totally exhausted could manage to make sound comical. “Is your chest just shaped like that or do you actually have tits?”

“What?” Amethyst actually sat up at that, laughing. Of all the questions she had expected, that wasn’t one of them.

Greg set his guitar down in his lap, looking somewhat unnerved as he glanced at Amethyst, then quickly away. “Oh, come on! She looks, like, five!”

“I do not,” Amethyst insisted.

“Okay, well, maybe that’s a little bit of an exaggeration, but…” Greg shook his head, making a face as he did. “Why is this a conversation we’re even having?”

“Because I want to know!” Vidalia laughed. “I’ve dated plenty of totally legal baby-faces in my time. She’s, like, older than both of us times a hundred generations. I think it’s a fair question.”

Greg still seemed vaguely doubtful. “I think _you_ need to sleep.”

Vidalia wasn’t going to let it go that easy, and Amethyst was too amused by their interaction to intervene. “Okay, so…does _Rose_ have tits?”

Greg brightened immediately. “Hell, yeah, she does!”

“So – they _can_ have tits.” Vidalia glanced at Amethyst, as though waiting for her to settle the matter.

Amethyst snorted. “We have whatever we want.”

Vidalia frowned. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Like I said, we have whatever we want.” Amethyst was enjoying playing with her.

“So I’m gonna assume that means you do.” Vidalia nodded as if satisfied, relaxing back against the sand. “And if any of that glitter we were messing with earlier made it down your shirt like it did mine, now you have glitter tits.”

Greg groaned. “Oh, my God, V, _go to_ _sleep_.”

 

* * *

 

Why that, of all memories, had surfaced, Pearl had no idea, unless it was the Emerald weapon’s attempt to test her persistence. It wasn’t that long ago, after all, that Pearl would have had a very negative reaction to even a vague reminder that Greg had been the one to make Pearl realize she couldn’t go on sharing Rose anymore – not with someone who also held so much of her beloved’s heart. As Sapphire had pointed out decades before, the option to step away was always there and Pearl finally had to save what was left of her heart and take it. She was a Gem designed to be fully devoted to another, and though she had become far more than ever expected of her, that never really changed. At least not where Rose was concerned. She could love and care for others, and she had, but Rose was the one she lived for. Her everything. And she had resented Greg so much for taking that away. Resented Amethyst for taking his side, at least from her biased perspective.

Things were clearer now. Time, and Steven, had helped to restore Pearl’s balance. She still had her weak moments – boy, did she ever – but overall, life was heading in the right direction.

But this wasn’t about her. This was about Amethyst and helping her regain her own balance, which had always been fragile to begin with. Pearl was seeing that so much more clearly now. Amethyst always wore her heart on her sleeve, but she supplanted her vulnerabilities with a breezy façade. There were times she’d been able to fool even those who knew her best.

They were both damaged, but not beyond repair. Opal had proved that to them time after time. If they could find enough harmony to bring her into existence, even after all of the bad times, they could certainly find the strength to face their own demons.

Strange, how this journey to save Amethyst was bringing Pearl so much healing herself. Maybe Garnet really _had_ known what she was doing in pushing Pearl to be the one to do it. That was just her style, to set things in motion, then step back and let them unfold. As Amethyst said, always trust the one with future vision.

 _Aw, quoting me?_ Amethyst teased. _Never thought I’d see the day._

Pearl startled a bit; she hadn’t realized she’d been projecting her thoughts into their shared headspace. It didn’t take her long to recover, though. _You do have your moments._ And it was true. Amethyst had been the one to sit and talk with her after the Sardonyx disaster, while Garnet and Steven were away with Greg. Amethyst, who’d kept sneaking into her room to check on her in those first few days after they’d lost Rose. Amethyst, who loved her family with as much passion as she did everything else and wouldn’t hesitate to sacrifice herself to protect any of them. It had nearly come down to that a few times in the past and she’d even pretended to listen to their lectures afterward on how she needed to be more careful. Not that Pearl had much room to judge her on that count. That was another lesson she’d needed to learn from Steven – and Connie.

Of course, there had also been a lesson Pearl had worked with Amethyst to teach them. Warm memories came easier now, and with any luck, that would be the key to finding their way out of this mental maze. She held onto it, letting the memory wash over them both.

 

* * *

 

Pearl was very conservative when it came to judging swordplay and combat skills. She’d learned too much over the millennia not to be. But even she could admit that Steven and Connie were not only good at this – they were excellent. She was running out of things to teach them that would be appropriate for their skill level. Connie was mastering the sword, and Pearl’s heart fluttered with pride when she realized it might not be too long before she was ready to wield _Rose’s_ sword. It had been designed to coordinate with her shield, after all, which Steven could now summon at will and move fluidly with. Pearl had taught him to fight well, of course; she couldn’t justify the thought of letting him go into anything blind. But it was clear that defense was his strength, just as offense was Connie’s. They had been right from the start. They worked better together than they did apart – not unlike Ruby and Sapphire, who had long ago stopped trying to work apart. It was while dwelling on that one day that Pearl had an idea.

Connie and Steven arrived at their usual time and Pearl had been careful not to give too much of her plan away in advance. Neither would potential enemies. Steven had noticed Amethyst’s presence, though, and he waved at her, seeming surprised as she leaned against one of the Sky Arena’s crumbling statues.

If she was to maintain the element of surprise, Pearl couldn’t telegraph that anything about today was out of the ordinary. “Amethyst! Do you really want to damage that statue any further?”

Amethyst scoffed. “Pretty sure your great battles already did that for me.”

Pearl was so excited for what was about to come that it was almost hard to pretend to be annoyed with her. Almost. “Fine. But if you want to observe, go find someplace else – some place out of the way!”

Combat began as usual – Connie striking, Steven blocking, Pearl enjoying the challenge they were starting to provide. It had been a long time since she’d had a decent sparring partner that wasn’t one of her holograms. She dropped her sword on one block and decided it was time. A significant look was the only cue Amethyst needed to jump into the fray and to her side. Her presence alone had Steven and Connie slightly confused, it was clear, but to their credit; they held their ground and left no openings.

A full fusion dance, the kind they usually needed to sync, would have given too much away, which was why it had been crucial to get Amethyst on the exact same page beforehand. The effort had paid off, though, and they were able to fuse with a few quick spins and twists, almost as easily as if they were facing imminent danger. In a flash, Opal stood before the two children.

Connie’s eyes were wide and sparkling. Steven, predictably, reacted with delight, pumping his shield in the air. “Yes! Giant woman!” He was quick on the uptake, though, and it only took him a second to sober as he realized this couldn’t simply be for their entertainment. He turned to Connie, grabbing her free hand with his. “Giant woman about to kick our butts!”

They took off and Opal took her time pursuing, giving them time to get used to her. They were still in training, after all, and this was new to them. She wanted them to be challenged, not overwhelmed. Obviously, she would be holding back, no matter what, but she wasn’t afraid to push them a little once they were ready. As much as the Crystal Gems fought the idea that fusions were solely war machines intended for battle, they _were_ quite handy in a fight. And there was no guarantee Homeworld wouldn’t use a fusion for exactly that. Might as well warm Connie and Steven up with a friendly one.

Connie dove behind Steven’s shield, her eyes darting around as she took in Opal and their surroundings, clearly plotting her strategy. Good. “Steven, she’s, like…twenty feet tall! And she has _four arms_. There’s no way we can beat her!”

“Actually, it’s closer to twelve,” Opal pointed out, waiting for them to make their move. She’d let them take an open shot to build some confidence.

“And _we’ve_ got four arms!” Steven reminded Connie. “Well, between the two of us, anyway.”

“Between the two of us,” Connie murmured, her brows furrowing. She gasped suddenly, whispering to Steven, and lowered her sword to a resting stance before nodding at him and setting it down. He raised his shield to protect them and held out his free arm. Connie took a deep breath and looped her arm with his, starting to spin with him.

Opal’s heart soared and a thrill of excitement ran through her. She’d hoped they might try this, but she hadn’t expected it so soon. Sure enough, Steven’s gem began to glow. His shield started to fall as the two bodies became one…

…and Stevonnie grabbed it before it hit the ground. They glanced around quickly, picking up Connie’s sword, and _yes, yes_ , this was going to be delightful.

The fusion tossed their hair back over one shoulder, grinning at Opal as they assumed a fighting stance. “All right. Bring it.”

 

* * *

 

 _Oh, man. That was so cool. We totally rocked that out._ Amethyst’s laugh was full of delight and Pearl warmed. That was definitely a good sign.

 _We did_ , Pearl agreed. _I think it was very educational._

_Screw educational; that was fun!_

Pearl laughed softly. _I fail to see why something can’t be both._

 _Okay, you got me there,_ Amethyst allowed. _Now what? We keep playing this weird version of “Here’s Your Life”? ‘Cause that’s kind of a long time even if we just stick to me._

Perfect. Amethyst wasn’t just passively allowing Pearl to guide her through this anymore; she was actively looking for a way out. _Now we get out of here. Keep thinking positively, if you can._

 _Right. Happy thoughts._ Amethyst sighed. _Man, it’s too bad we can’t just fuse and bust out of this place. But…we’re already fused. And this is kind of my head, so…_

Pearl was inclined to agree, but then something occurred to her. They were looking at each other separately in this place, Opal just out of their reach. It was only a mental illusion, but so was everything else that had happened. With wolves, armor, and lucid memories all in play, how outlandish _was_ Amethyst’s idea? When they fused normally, they were in perfect harmony both mentally and physically. Pearl had managed to push the physical, to get it to take, and Amethyst had allowed her into the mental space, but…what if? What if they tried it, like this, to imagine themselves coming together as they ideally would have from the start? _Who says we can’t?_

 _Excuse me?_ Amethyst didn’t take long to follow that train of thought, though. _Wouldn’t be the wildest thing I’ve ever done._

 _No, I can remember much worse._ Pearl continued with the gentle teasing, trying to bring to mind the times in their relationship when it had been genuine fun, not laced with an edge of aggression.

Amethyst caught on quickly, as Pearl hoped she would. _You need some examples, or…?_

 _No, I’m good._ Pearl stepped back, stretching slowly, then stepping into a ready position. They’d learned to blend their styles once, then the rift had caused each of them to stubbornly try to stick to their own again. Now they could come together once more, stronger for having come through it. The humans had a saying about bonds forged by fire. This was going to be the culmination of theirs. She turned into a quick pirouette, then let herself fall backward, trusting Amethyst would be there to catch her – which she was. Amethyst lifted her up, despite their height difference, then spun her around and pulled her close.

When she opened her eyes, she was looking at Garnet. Past Garnet was…well, she actually couldn’t see much around Garnet’s hair. But Garnet smiled, adjusting her visor subtly, and pulled back, allowing Opal to see the living room around them. She was on the floor, so it was an odd angle, and she took a minute to absorb her surroundings. She never knew quite where she’d be when she blinked into existence, but this was a new one. “Hello.”

Garnet’s smile widened before her usual neutral expression settled back into place. “Hello, Opal. Welcome back.”

“Thank you. It’s good to be here.” Opal sat up, leaning against the couch and tucking her legs under her. A moment later, the bathroom door flew open and Peridot hurried out, followed by Steven.

“I have an idea, but—” Peridot cut herself off mid-sentence with a yelp, diving behind the nearest piece of furniture. “Another one?!”

“Opal!” Steven hurried over, immediately depositing himself in her lap. She wrapped her lower arms around him, ruffling his hair with another hand. He looked up at her, his entire body exuding excitement. “Does this mean Amethyst is all right now?”

“It does,” Opal confirmed, hugging him a little tighter. He squirmed around to hug her as well, and she sighed contentedly. “Everything’s going to be fine now.”

“Except the cluster, you clods!” Peridot called from behind the questionable shelter of a small stool. “The cluster is _definitely_ going to kill us if we don’t do anything about it!”

“Oh.” Admittedly, Opal had let that slip her mind. “I suppose there is that.”

Steven looked at Garnet, though he made no move to get up. He seemed perfectly content where he was and Opal was content to have him there. “It’s probably not gonna kill us _today_ , though, is it, Garnet?”

Garnet shook her head. “No. Not today.”

“Good.” Steven nodded. “Then everything’s going to be fine today.”

Peridot sputtered in protest, but none of it was coming out as actual words before she sighed, heading back for the bathroom. “Fine. I'll make a list of all the outstanding things we need.”

“Great, and I can go into town with you to buy them!” Steven agreed. He glanced up at Opal, cuddling her again. “Later.”

“Yes,” Opal murmured. “Later.”

 

* * *

 

 


	8. The Seeds of a War in the Creak of A Floorboard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I can't believe I got this done with an hour left until we are officially Steven Bomb'ed. I CAN'T WAIT. I'm going to cry so much over these precious gay rocks...after crying writing about these precious gay rocks. Anyhow, this is the final chapter, and I want to thank you all again so much for being here for this wild ride with me. Your support's been so appreciated! Hope you enjoy and the wait was worth it!
> 
> The title of this chapter is from a song in the Matilda musical, "Naughty." It applies mostly to the revelations in the second part of the chapter, but I feel a lot of the whole "nobody can change your fate but you" theme is especially appropriate.

* * *

 

 

The planet might have been on the verge of destruction, especially if one listened to Peridot’s frantic announcements that steadily increased in frequency and pitch the longer they were away from the drill project.  But the sunset over the ocean was still beautiful as ever.

They were heading back to the barn in the morning, after taking a day to rest and recover from this latest ordeal.  Pearl was looking forward to getting the cluster situation dealt with so they could breathe easy, but at the same time, the opportunity to catch up with the housework – and with Amethyst – had been welcome.  She took a minute more to admire the sunset from the front window, smiling as Steven tried to engage Peridot in play on the beach – something she was totally missing the point of, from the look of things.  Then it was back to folding the laundry and slipping into the bathroom to put away a stack of towels while Peridot wasn’t brooding in there.

The bathroom wasn’t entirely unoccupied, however.  Amethyst was relaxing in the bath, her eyes half-closed.  Pearl jumped a little in surprise, then frowned slightly.  “You really should lock the door.  Steven could just walk right in here.”

Amethyst turned, shifting to lean on the edge of the tub but making no move to get out.  There was a sly smile on her lips and, for the first time in the last couple of weeks, she looked genuinely happy.  Her hair spread around her in the water and Pearl had to make a concentrated effort not to stare at anything but her face.  “Eh, no worries.  The boy’s already seen worse things than me with my clothes off.”

As Pearl drew closer, she noticed the sweet apple-cinnamon scent in the air and the glittering green-yellow color of the water.  One of those bath bomb things, then – a human luxury Amethyst had embraced as soon as she’d discovered them.  Pearl had tried one, once, when no one else was home.  It had turned the water nearly the exact shade of Rose’s fountain and between that and the floral scent, she’d found the experience to be a bit much for her.  “I find that statement highly concerning.”

Amethyst frowned, then laughed.  When she was truly delighted, it was a wonderful sound.  “Oh, _man_ , Pearl; get your mind out of the gutter!  That is _not_ what I meant.  This kid’s dealing with Gem monsters and fusion experiments and _freaking Malachite_ ; I think he could handle a little accidental nudity.  But good point.  I’ll lock the door next time.”

“Oh.”  That did make much more sense, in perspective.  Pearl leaned in a little closer, still carefully trying to watch which direction her eyes trailed.  Something about the shade of the water was strangely familiar, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.  Finally, it hit her.  “That’s nearly the same color as Peridot.”

“Oh, yeah.  I melted her down.”  Amethyst nodded seriously, but that only lasted a few seconds before she burst into giggles.  “Hope we didn’t need her for anything else.”

“Amethyst!”  Pearl couldn’t help but laugh, though, swatting at Amethyst’s shoulder.  “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”  The first time she’d encountered these bath bombs, it had been a purple one that matched Amethyst almost exactly.  In her confusion, irrational panic had gripped Pearl momentarily and she’d thought something was causing Amethyst to melt.  The situation had been cleared up quickly, but Amethyst missed no chance to tease Pearl about it going forward.  Pearl didn’t mind, actually, even if she had to play her part and pretend to be flustered.  It reminded her of the good days, when their banter had been playful and fun.

“Nope.”  Amethyst grinned, settling back in the bath, and Pearl’s cheeks flushed teal as she realized Amethyst was making no attempt to hide her body.  Amethyst had never been shy, but Pearl knew this game, though she hadn’t played it with anyone since Rose.  This was less a lack of inhibition and more an invitation.  “The water’s still nice and warm, you know.”

Pearl cleared her throat, shifting nervously.  “I – there’s still so much to be done before we leave tomorrow.”

“Pearrrrl.”  Amethyst leaned forward again, resting her elbows on the edge of the tub.  Her back was arched so that her chest was pushed forward and that had to have been by design.  “I’ve had a rough day.”

Well, that couldn’t be denied.  Pearl nodded, her eyes studiously fixed on the bathroom rug.  “That’s true, but it doesn’t necessarily make sense to just--”

“Pearl.”  Amethyst reached out with a wet hand, lifting Pearl’s chin so that their eyes met.  “Don’t overthink this.  We spent most of the day sharing a _brain_ ; the bathtub should be nothing.”

Also true.  It really had been wonderful, once Amethyst came around.  They’d spent a few more hours together as Opal, letting her have some time to just _be_.  It had been the longest time they’d been able to hold her – especially outside of a crisis – since Rose died.  Fusion was the ultimate level of intimacy two Gems could achieve, a total blending of bodies and minds.  Compared to that, and with the experience they’d had today, what harm could a shared bath do?  Besides, Pearl couldn’t deny the sight of Amethyst like this, combined with the playful attempts at seduction, stirred a longing in her she’d thought long dead.  “All right.  But I’m definitely locking the door.”  She turned to do just that, smiling at Amethyst’s laugh.  “What?”

“Nothing.”  Amethyst shrugged.  “It’s a good idea.  I mean, accidental exposure is one thing, but we’re not trying to scar Steven for life.”

“Precisely.”  Pearl closed her eyes for a moment, trying to calm her racing thoughts, and phased her clothes away.  She slipped into the tub before she could talk herself out of it, curling her long legs around Amethyst to accommodate them both in the space.  Amethyst sighed happily and pulled her closer, and soon their lips met in a gentle kiss.

“You know,” Amethyst said, stirring a finger around idly in the water, which sparkled under the bathroom light, “they make this one that looks like a whole galaxy exploded in the tub.  I think you’d like it.”

Pearl nodded.  “That does sound nice.”  Of course, her second thought was of the sheer amount of glitter that had to entail.  “And messy.”

Amethyst shook her head.  “Nah, it all washes away.”

“Really.”  Pearl laughed softly, relaxing as the water warmed her, relishing the feel of their bodies pressed together.  “It’s been my experience from Steven’s craft projects that glitter has a half-life approximating that of plutonium.”

Amethyst grinned, letting her head fall against Pearl’s shoulder.  “See?  You _can_ be funny.  But, no, seriously, we’ve gotta try it.  Next best thing to space on Earth.”

“Maybe we should.”  Pearl nodded, letting her fingers trail along Amethyst’s arm.

“And then you can have glitter tits, too.”

Pearl snorted.  She got the reference; the memories they’d shared weren’t that far off.  It was more fun, however, to act as if she’d missed it entirely.  “Well, not everything that glitters is gold, as the humans say.”

“Who needs gold?”  Amethyst reached up to gently stroke Pearl’s forehead, right alongside her gem.  “We’re _crystal_.”

 

* * *

 

The night was warm and Pearl was happy to take full advantage when Amethyst invited her outside to sit on the beach for awhile.  They were cuddled together, Amethyst in Pearl’s arms, gazing out over the horizon.  They knew what was out there, at least mostly, but it was still fun to imagine what they didn’t know – at least as long as they only thought in terms of exploration and not certain vengeful fusions, also somewhere out there.  But tonight wasn’t the night for that.  Tonight was for relaxing and reacquainting themselves with one another.

“So what are we now?” Pearl asked, running her fingers through Amethyst’s hair.

“Hmm?”  Amethyst glanced up at her.  “Who says we have to define it?”

“Well, I think you’d agree, all this…it goes a little beyond the traditional definition of friendship.”  Pearl needed to define things; her minded wanted everything to fit into neatly labeled boxes.  Unfortunately, life didn’t often work like that.  “Are we lovers now, or…?”

“Pearl.”  Amethyst’s tone was soft and gentle.  “I think _you’d_ agree, we’ve both got, like, several magazine stands’ worth of issues to sort out, so…”  She sighed.  “Can we just…see where it goes?”

Pearl smiled.  “That sounds like an excellent plan, actually.”  She allowed herself to brush a light kiss across Amethyst’s forehead.  “You do have some good ideas occasionally.”

Amethyst shrugged, a wry grin on her lips.  “Well, even a broken clock’s got to be right now and then.”

“Don’t say that.”  Pearl knew she’d been joking, but she’d learned a lot about how self-destructive some jokes could be.  “You’re not broken.”

“I’m also not eight feet tall,” Amethyst pointed out.

“Or bent on destruction _or_ completely dismissive of so-called ‘lesser’ Gems,” Pearl countered.  “And my gem’s not as round as it should be and I’m too talkative, and…we’re not broken.”  She said it firmly, trying to convince herself as much as Amethyst.  “We’re just…off-model.”

“Off-model.”  Amethyst’s smile widened.  “I like that.  Guess everyone needs some variety, huh?”

“Precisely.”  Pearl could see Amethyst’s expression shifting and she frowned.  “What is it?”

Amethyst sighed a little, her hand closing around Pearl’s.  “Why didn’t you tell me?  About how…well, ‘off-model’ I was?”

The truth was, they’d never wanted her to know.  If Homeworld had never returned, she might not have.  Pearl was sure Amethyst had surmised as much.  “We didn’t want you to compare yourself to that.  You’re more than what your origins shaped you to be.  Sure, they’re huge and intimidating and, quite frankly, terrifying when they want to be, but…”  She shook her head, cuddling Amethyst a little more.  “They’re also not loving and silly and…they’re not _you_.  You’re not just an amethyst; you never have been.  You’re _our_ Amethyst.”

Amethyst’s eyes filled with tears and she reached up to brush them away.  “Thanks.  I needed that.”  She shifted to curl against Pearl instead of leaning on her.  “You’re pretty incredible, too.  I mean, I don’t know what it must’ve been like, with everything they expected of you and all, but – Steven was right.  You’re not common at all.”

Now Pearl was the one blinking back tears and she wrapped her arms around Amethyst more tightly.  “Thank you.”

Amethyst wriggled, pulling an envelope from her pocket.  It was a bit wrinkled, looking as if it had seen some wear in its time, but sealed.  She handed it to Pearl.  “I – I hope you’re not upset with me, that I never told you about this.  Rose made me promise.”

Under other circumstances, the implication that Rose had hidden anything else from her – and trusted Amethyst with it – would have set her off, but as soon as Pearl saw her name on the envelope, in Rose’s elegant handwriting, she understood.  “How long have you had this?”

“Since right before Steven was born,” Amethyst said.  “She gave it to me and made me promise I’d hold onto it until I thought you were ready.  I’m not sure how she thought I’d figure that out, since I don’t know what’s in it, but…I think you are.  We’ve come a long way.”

Yes, they had.  And even in their darkest moments together, Amethyst had never used this letter as ammunition, either, knowing she had one last thing from Rose that Pearl didn’t know about.  “Thank you, Amethyst.”  She pressed another soft kiss to Amethyst’s forehead, gently beginning to open the envelope.

Amethyst squeezed Pearl’s arm lightly.  “If you want to read it in private, I totally understand.”

“I appreciate the consideration,” Pearl said, sliding the letter out, “but I actually think I’d rather read it with you.”  She unfolded it, smiling at the pink stationary Rose had always loved, and steeled herself.  Rose must’ve known these would be her final words to Pearl and Pearl hoped she was strong enough to handle whatever this letter might hold. 

_My dearest Pearl –_

Her heart caught at the very introduction, but she let Amethyst’s presence ground her and read on.

_I know you don’t understand this decision I’ve made, to end my own existence and let another begin.  I don’t know that I could explain it adequately myself.  Heaven knows I’ve tried.  It’s not just about giving birth to a child, or even having one at all, as much as I desperately want that experience.  I’ve known from the beginning it has to be this way.  Steven is going to be something incredible.  He’ll be the first true bridge between humanity and gemkind.  I know it will be difficult at first for you, but he’ll need you.  He’ll need you to guide him and teach him about his powers.  He’ll need you to tell him about me.  And…I hope, in time, there are things he can teach you._

_I worry that will sound harsh.  You’re wonderful, Pearl, more so than I can adequately express, but I don’t think any Gem can truly understand the human experience.  I know I don’t, and my time with Greg has only further convinced me that’s the case.  (In the most positive of ways, of course.)  I know you don’t see eye to eye with him, but he’s a good man.  I feel Steven will help bring you two together in ways neither of you could have imagined.  As I said – he’s going to have both sides of the experience._

_I want you to know that what we had was very special to me as well.  I understand your decision regarding our relationship, ultimately, and I completely respect it.  I hope you will find happiness again.  You deserve it and don’t ever let anyone convince you otherwise.  Especially not yourself._

_There’s something else I need you to know – and the primary reason I’ve had Amethyst hold this letter.  I know I could have trusted Garnet with it just as easily – if not more so with the timing, given her future vision.  But…there are certain bonds you and Amethyst share, even if you don’t realize it yet._

_You were the spark that lit the flame, Pearl.  You’ve been faithfully at my side these thousands of years and I appreciate it so much more than you could ever know.  My confidant, my love, and most importantly, my friend.  You always believed in the rebellion, in our cause, even when you couldn’t believe in yourself.  I know that pearls were never designed with self-confidence as a particular feature, but you’ve risen far above what society thought you were made for.  And, from my perspective, that uncertainty, your willingness to sacrifice yourself without a second thought, was a tragedy – because you **were** the rebellion._

_From that first day I came home and found you practicing with an old sword, thinking you were alone…I couldn’t accept blindly was I was told about a Gem’s place in society.  I never quite believed it, that pearls had no drive of their own – that they were only happy when following orders, as designed.  But, “defective” or not, you were proof that wasn’t the case.  I don’t believe one bit in that label, anyhow, as I’ve told you multiple times.  You’re exactly what you were meant to be.  More importantly, you have the freedom to be whatever you want to be.  From that day – I knew I couldn’t stand idly by and let Gems have their lives dictated to them by rank and type, much less destroy the planet I discovered that on and had come to love.  It only benefited those at the top of the chain.  It was going to be a long fight, and we both knew it, but you stood at my side through it all.  And we won.  We’re here.  I know I won’t physically be with you for much longer, but I have you to tell my story.  And your own.  Yours matters just as much, Pearl, if not more.  You are and have always been your own Gem.  Don’t ever let anyone own you again, even if it’s only through underestimating you._

_Take care of the others.  Take care of Steven.  And, please, don’t forget to take care of yourself._

_Love always,_

_Rose_

The tears were streaming down Pearl’s face as she finished, splashing on the paper.  She closed the letter and set it under her knee so that she didn’t risk ruining it.  Amethyst held her close, a bittersweet expression on her face.  Pearl had held the letter so that Amethyst could read it too, knowing from the beginning she probably wouldn’t be able to read it aloud.  The revelations shook her and she knew now that she wouldn’t have been ready for this any sooner.  She held onto Amethyst, sobbing freely, but it was more healing than any of her tears had been in a long time.  Finally, she composed herself, holding onto Amethyst for a few more minutes before shifting to get to her feet.  She picked up the letter, holding it close to her chest.

Amethyst stayed close, holding Pearl’s free hand.  “You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah.”  Pearl nodded, wrapping her arm around Amethyst’s shoulders.  “I think I finally am.  What about you?”

Amethyst’s smile was dazzling, even in the dim light of the early morning.  “Yeah, me too.”

Pearl turned to look up at the house, at the temple behind and above it, and could feel a sense of peace settling into her soul – one she struggled to find on her own.  She could get used to the feeling, though.  She squeezed Amethyst’s hand.  For the first time, she truly felt like things were getting better.  “We’d better get Steven’s things together.  Garnet will be wanting to leave soon.”

“Yeah.”  Amethyst returned the squeeze to Pearl’s hand, nodding.  “Whatever happens, we’ve got this.”

“We do.”  They walked into the house together, and Pearl jumped a little in surprise when she saw Garnet sitting on the couch, as if she’d been waiting for them.  She probably had.  “Oh.  Hello, Garnet.”

“Hello.”  Garnet’s expression gave away nothing, but she crossed her arms before lowering her visor to let them see her eyes.  “I know full well what’s been going on with you two tonight – and I just want you to know one thing.”

Pearl shifted, suddenly nervous.  If Garnet didn’t approve of their new relationship, that could be a huge roadblock.  “What’s that?”

Garnet smiled finally, coming over to hug them both.  “It’s about damn time.”

 

* * *

 


End file.
